Asif Mandvi On Sanjay Gupta

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Medicine Cabinet

Barack Obama Interview

John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video

Funny Election Video

Maybe the most brilliant thing ever.

Brown Surgeon General?

Image courtesy of Shaadi.Com

CNN is reporting that it's very own special correspondent, Sanjay Gupta, is being considered for the post of Surgeon General by Barack Obama and his cabinet. Sanjay Gupta's experience both in government, as an advisor to Hilary Clinton in 1997, and medicine, where he is on the staff and faculty in the Department of Neurosurgery at Emory University. When not at Emory, Sanjay Gupta works for CNN where he is responsible for keeping Larry King alive. Sanjay Gupta, who no doubt deserves a Getting To Know feature, was born in Michigan and has an interest in complicated spinal operations, he was also voted one of the sexiest men in 2003 by People Magazine (2003 was an off year for sexy men, I hadn't blossomed until 2005). These facts lead this blogger to believe that Sanjay Gupta is the brown Jack Shepard, and yes, I am going to make you google Jack Shepard, Lord knows I'd like to.....Ummm, I'm gonna leave now.

Hasina Maan Jayegee

It's a New Year and not much feels different. I can still write extraordinarily crappy headlines and a South Asian nation can still elect extraordinarily crappy presidents. In this case, Bangladesh (the country not the producers who's beats are "Bangladesh, it's just foreign to the ears") elected Sheikh Hasina to the office of the presidency. Sheikh Hasina is renowned for being the Bengali Benazir Bhutto and looking like the evil saas in most Indian dramas. Hasina was actually running against another fantastically corrupt politician in Khaleda Zia and won in a landslide victory which Zia's party doesn't recognize because they're a little retarded. Long story short, women are terrible leaders. Benazir, Hasina, Zia, Mother Teresa, perhaps they stole from their countries so that they could shop because I'm told that's what women like to do. And for good measure, Bengalis eat fish. Thank you and welcome to the year 2009 everyone, it's gonna be a good one.

Blog? What Blog?

It's been a while since you've been here Priyanka, good to have you back

You know what sucks? The news. So instead of trying to find a good happy story about South Asia I've decided to talk about Priyanka Chopra instead. You see I'm worried about her. Call me old fashioned but I found her to be a lot more attractive when she wore the classy outfits but as of late she's been whoring it up on screen. Now you might think that that's not such a bad thing but that's because you're probably legally retarded. No, Priyanka is no average Bollywood starlet. She's the total package so while dressing like a hooker may work for someone like Rakhi Sawant who's tramp stamp distracts the Indian populace from the fact that she's actually a transvestite, it doesn't work for Priyanka Chopra just like it didn't work for Aishwariya Rai in Dhoom 2. Anyways, I just want my Priyanka back. That's all. I mean Priyanka used to have a hold on me, I'd do anything for her; kidnapping, extortion, you name it. Now I have to grimace when I'm watching Zee TV and am forced to witness the abomination that is Priyanka Chopra giving Sanjay Dutt a lapdance. Why Priyanka, why? Oh by the way, we'll be back in January with a renewed passion and better content.*

*Better content is not a guarantee.

We Suck At This and Belated Eid Mubarak

Hi there. Hope you are well. This is awkward for us. You can probably guess why. We're sort of, kind of, shallow jackasses who lack the eloquence and/or the subtlety to talk about the senseless attacks two weeks ago in Mumbai like grownups. So please bear with us while we stumble through the next couple of weeks like the infants we are.

This is the first attack of it's kind since we have been running this blog. There will certainly be more in the future(eg there was a suicide car bomb in Islamabad over the weekend). That is the sad reality of the region. We will try to do our best to cover all the news with the respect and sensitivity they demand. But at the end of the day, we hope you come here to chuckle once a day as I ogle at Bollywood actresses and the other guy(rhymes with Mahad Fasood) checks out dudes.

We hope and pray that you and your loved ones are safe. And we hope you had a memorable Eid. Now to lighten up the mood, here's a video courtesy of the very posh Mr. Misbah Dalvi. Please stick around for the entire thing, it just gets better and better.