Your Daily IPL Update

Your daily IPL update is supposed to be recapped...err..daily. Except on those nights that we stay up late to watch "Training Day" in Spanish on Telemundo because we figure the censorship standards are tamer in honor of Cinco Di Mayo and get to work too late to work on your blog. Anyway, here's an Andy Samberg inspired IPL Update:

Monday, May 5th:
It's My Duck in a Box
It was a fiesta in Bangalore on Monday night and the main course was duck. Either the Punjab XI Kings are on a low carb diet or they're fiending for some protein as they helped themselves to 5 servings of Bangalore Royal Challenger ducks which must be an IPL record because I'm too lazy to do the research on this. Certain future multiple time BihariShabab BC of the Week, and Punjab bowler Sreesanth had two wickets, gave up 16 runs, and could barely contain his calm in the field as he fantasized about all the possible plot lines of the upcoming Sex and The City Movie.

Tuesday, May 6th:
It's My Deccan a Box
The Deccan Charges of Hyderabad traveled to Chennai to take on the Super Kings and comfortably got in that ass. Adam Gilchrest had 54 runs for the Chargers who won by 7 wickets. With a win Chennai would would have found themselves at the top of the IPL standings but the loss keeps them at 4th. And so it's another week of 3rd tier item Bollywood Item number girl groupie love for Dhoni.

STANDINGS

Teams	Played	Won	Lost	Points	Net Run Rate
	6	5	1	10	+0.746
	7	5	2	10	+0.442
	6	4	2	8	+0.856
	7	4	3	8	-0.005
	6	2	4	4	+0.537
	7	2	5	4	-0.011
	6	2	4	4	-0.982
	7	2	5	4	-1.426

Your Daily IPL Update

In an attempt to bridge the gap with our desi fathers so that we may one day convince him to allow us to marry a Gori*, we here at BihariShabab have decided to throw ourselves in to the exciting new 20/20 Cricket Indian Premier League. In the coming weeks we will be looking at all the teams and recapping all of the games from here on out. This space will be updated daily with scores, stats, standings, commentary and updates on our burgeoning relationship with our fathers that will soon be the inspiration for a major motion picture by Sanjay Leela Bansali. On to the games....
Sunday, May 4th:

Mumbai Defeats Delhi by 29 Runs:
Proving once again that they are perhaps the "Indianest" of all the Indian teams in the Indian Premier League, the Mumbai Indians defeated the Daredevils of Delhi by 29 runs. In a display of his Indian mardaangi that would make the Sunni Deol proud, Ashish Nehra collected 3 wickets for 25 runs for the Indians, singularly beat down the forces of terrorism by the power of his sheer patriotism and cunning, and found the time for a romantic subplot with Shilpa Shetty. Verinder Sehwag had 40 runs in the losing effort.


Sohail To The Chief:
Rajistan Royal bowler Sohail Tanvir got his Lebron James on all up on the Chennai Super Kings in the most one-sided battle between monarchs since Henry VIII took on the head of Anne Boleyn. Tanvir had 6 wickets for 14 runs in 4 overs while also being on the receiving end of 2 Munaf Patel wickets as Rajistan defeated Chennai by 8 wickets. The 6 wicket take is a record for an IPL game and has replaced Zaara Hayaat Khan's bewitchment of Officer Veer Pratap Singh as the most impressive performance by a Pakistani national on Indian soil.

Monday's Games:
Bangalore Royal Challengers @ Punjab Kings XI

Standings:

Teams	Played	Won	Lost	Points	Net Run Rate
	6	5	1	10	+0.734
	6	4	2	8	+0.857
	6	4	2	8	+0.385
	6	4	2	8	+0.241
	6	2	4	4	+0.123
	6	2	4	4	-0.382
	6	2	4	4	-1.207
	6	1	5	2	-0.100

*The term Gori is not limited to women of Caucasian heritage but is a general term that encompasses any non-desi entity including African American, Latina, Asian or Pacific Islander, Eastern European, and whatever the amalgamation of Nationalities that Lana Lang from Smallville is.