Blog? What Blog?

It's been a while since you've been here Priyanka, good to have you back

You know what sucks? The news. So instead of trying to find a good happy story about South Asia I've decided to talk about Priyanka Chopra instead. You see I'm worried about her. Call me old fashioned but I found her to be a lot more attractive when she wore the classy outfits but as of late she's been whoring it up on screen. Now you might think that that's not such a bad thing but that's because you're probably legally retarded. No, Priyanka is no average Bollywood starlet. She's the total package so while dressing like a hooker may work for someone like Rakhi Sawant who's tramp stamp distracts the Indian populace from the fact that she's actually a transvestite, it doesn't work for Priyanka Chopra just like it didn't work for Aishwariya Rai in Dhoom 2. Anyways, I just want my Priyanka back. That's all. I mean Priyanka used to have a hold on me, I'd do anything for her; kidnapping, extortion, you name it. Now I have to grimace when I'm watching Zee TV and am forced to witness the abomination that is Priyanka Chopra giving Sanjay Dutt a lapdance. Why Priyanka, why? Oh by the way, we'll be back in January with a renewed passion and better content.*

*Better content is not a guarantee.

We Suck At This and Belated Eid Mubarak

Hi there. Hope you are well. This is awkward for us. You can probably guess why. We're sort of, kind of, shallow jackasses who lack the eloquence and/or the subtlety to talk about the senseless attacks two weeks ago in Mumbai like grownups. So please bear with us while we stumble through the next couple of weeks like the infants we are.

This is the first attack of it's kind since we have been running this blog. There will certainly be more in the future(eg there was a suicide car bomb in Islamabad over the weekend). That is the sad reality of the region. We will try to do our best to cover all the news with the respect and sensitivity they demand. But at the end of the day, we hope you come here to chuckle once a day as I ogle at Bollywood actresses and the other guy(rhymes with Mahad Fasood) checks out dudes.

We hope and pray that you and your loved ones are safe. And we hope you had a memorable Eid. Now to lighten up the mood, here's a video courtesy of the very posh Mr. Misbah Dalvi. Please stick around for the entire thing, it just gets better and better.

House Cleaning Item

Muhammad Ali Jinha and Gandhi at a Delta Chi Frat party circa 1946. Not Pictured: Nehru Playing Beer Pong with Alama Iqbal

Since this is the week we're officially selling out, why not go all the way. Hey everybody, Eighty East performs tonight in Newark! In the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that I have a personal history with Eighty East. Once about 4 years ago, Sid the drummer and I shared a candlelit dinner on the banks of the Passaic River. It was a beautiful moment and I will not ruin it by going into details, but I feel I must be forthcoming to maintain our journalistic integrity.

Anyway, the band is performing as part of the Rutgers PSA / ISA Unity event tonight in Newark. Details below:

When: November 20th @ 7pm
Where: Multi-Purpose Room in Paul Robeson Campus Center
350 MLK Blvd.
Newark, NJ

Along with Eighty East, you can look forward to performances by some dance crews I'm sure and like three or four comedy skits highlighting the hilarious fish out of water experiences we Desis run into every day here in the states! In all seriousness, there will be a performance by the very talented Feroz, whose hippitty hoppitty skills you can check out here.

I believe there is a $5 entrance fee, but it's for charity so please lighten up. Not sure what charity it will go to, but I'm guessing it's going to Israel. Those guys end up getting all of our money anyway. KIDDING! See I'm kidding because the event is about unity and being all racist...get it?..Hahaha...no seriously Jews run the world.

See you there!

Condemnation!

Huey doesn't appreciate the Obama haters.

Editors Note: I wrote this yesterday so everytime I say today, just substitute it with yesterday in your mind. Good luck and I apologize in advance.

We at BihariShabab haven't done enough to condemn terrorism world wide. The targeting of innocent people cannot be justified in anyway. Today our own beloved President, Barack Obama, was at the center of a verbal assault by the dastardly Ayman Al-Zawahiri, the 2nd most senior Al-Qaeda leader. Zawahiri said that the election of Barack Obama would not change anything that the terrorist organization is doing and that America would remain the enemy of Al-Qaeda. He went as so far as to say that Barack Obama was a "house slave" and "not an honourable black man like Malcolm X." Ayman, If you knew anything about Malcolm X you would know that he would never support what you are doing since it is even worse than what the American government did to black people through out history, by a lot. In response to your claim that Obama is a "House Slave" you better pump your brakes doggie, that man's a national treasure. On the bright side for those of us who aren't terrorists and condemn it, analysts say it might be harder for terrorists to cultivate support in their anti-American ideology because Barack Obama is loved world wide (as reported by BihariShabab) and they are even losing support within their own territories, evidenced particularly by the success of the Awakening Council in Iraq. Now obviously Barack hasn't done a damn thing so international support for him could fade dramatically but let's hope it doesn't because it's Barack Obama and everyone wants him to do well.

Well folks, that concludes another shitty post, please help us out by emailing links to BihariShabab@Gmail.com and leaving comments. Together we can overcome this slump. I can't wait till the IPL and Miss Universe pageant.

That'd Buy Lots of Samosas

Everyone is feeling the pressure due to the global economic recession we're currently experiencing. No one is losing more in this recession than India's ultra-wealthy business tycoons. Specifically Mukesh Ambani and Father of The Year candidate, Laxmi Mittal. Together they are 1 and 2 on the list of India's richest individuals. Ambani, who made his fortune in petrochemicals, saw his net worth drop by almost 60% and Mittal lost a staggering $30.5 billion. To better understand exactly how much that really is, let me restate it; Laxmi Mittal lost $30,500,000,000. That would buy 30.5 billion Arizona Mucho Mangos (which, coincidentally, the Tata company might purchase). This is especially terrible for their families. Laxmi's kids can't expect ridiculous gifts like multi-million dollar homes and the Ambani family is going to have to hold off on their new home construction for a little bit. You know what would make everyone feel a little better about going broke? This video;

Hilarious.