I'm Never Buying Another Pair Of Jordans Again....Unless They Look Really Really Good

The above video is of underrated rapper, Chamillionaire, telling a story of an unpleasant encounter he had with Michael Jordan. I have a cousin who knew this one lady who's kid loved Michael so she drove all the way out to Chicago from DC for a picture and an autograph. She stopped by his restaurant and saw him there and he punched her in the face and stole her purse. True story...Well maybe not, I'm a little hazy on the details, but she was treated poorly by His Airness. It's strange because most athletes become more revered after they retire, you tend to forget all the terrible things they did (unless you're talking about Rae Carruth, although he was pretty good that one year....) but Jordan is just getting eviscerated by the media which is stunning because he was one of the most beloved athletes ever only a decade ago. I'm predicting that Jordan gets into some serious gambling debt and due to his huge alimony payments to Juanita he does something crazy and is the next O.J. Simpson. When it happens, remember that I called it.

Raj Rajaratnam's Gonna Get-a Hurt Real Bad!

That's such a sweet picture, if that was me it'd be my new facebook photo.

This is to spite you Raheel.....

Raj Rajaratnam is a portfolio manager for the Galleon Group, one of the largest hedge funds in the country, as well as one of the richest men in America. He's also accused of insider trading.

Rajaratnam is accused with 7 others of generating $25 million in profit by using insider information to trade securities in several companies including Google. This is illegal. His bail is set at $100 million which seems excessive until you realize that he's the 599th richest person in America according to Forbes with an estimated net worth of $1.3 billion. To put this into perspective for you; 1.3 billion American Dollars is equivalent to 23,140,208,000,000 Vietnamese Dongs. You don't need me to tell you that that's a lot of Dongs. Not only is Rajaratnam accused of insider trading but he's also under investigation for bankrolling the Tamil Tigers, the notorious Sri Lankan softball team, through a fake charity organization.

Adding a bit of international flavor to these affairs is U.S. attorney Preet Bharara who called Rajaratnam a race traitor and said, "greed is not good, this case should be a wake up call for Wall Street." Just some words to live by from Bharararararararara-ji.

As an aside...I can't quit you Biharishabab!

The Jabawockeez Are Better

Here is the video of Diversity's final performance. If you don't know and just about 10 minutes ago I didn't, Diversity is the dance crew that won Britain's Got Talent, beating out Susan Boyle who sang that song and it was all great and everyone cried and blah blah blah talent shows suck. If it's talent you're looking for I think the only place to find it is on Star Search, what other talent show gave us Justin Randall Timberlake? He may have lost on Star Search, but he won the heart of girls...around the world! Anyways, Diversity was pretty average, you know, for a superstar dance crew. Give me Jabawockeez any day. Hell, I'll even take Shaqawockeez.

Needs More Vocoder

Yo Son, It'S dJ kIlLaFaM gIvInG yOu ThE nEwEsT hItS aNd RiGhT nOw I gOt FoR yA'lL aN EXCLUSIVE 'sclusive 'sclusive 'sclusive 'sclusive fRoM mY bOyS tHe YoUnG CoNs RePpIn' JeSuS ChRiSt aNd RePuBlIcAn DuDeS...ShOuT oUt To ThE sTrEeTs It'S tHe YoUnG CoNs, Ya'heARd?

What if that's how I really was? The above video as you may have deciphered is of a douchetastic new hip-hop group; The Young Cons. Don't be fooled, the con is short for conservative, they are guilty of no crime but I'm guessing you can attribute at least 3 date rapes to these two fellows but I suppose that's less of a crime and more of a conflict of interest. My favorite part is the subliminal message at 45 seconds (mainly because I didn't want to watch the entire thing a second time) who wouldn't want to support life if it wears a santa hat!?!

Props to Ainy for the link, Respec!

Child Abuse At Its Most Adorable

On the one hand this video is hilarious to me because, I mean just watch it...it's a grown man beating two toddlers up...wait, that's why it's horrific to me...I guess it's hilarious because of the sound effects? I don't know why it's hilarious but the kid in the middle needs to hit the gym or something because he got his ass handed to him at the 20 second mark. Also please stick around for the head trauma that occurs at the 35 second mark. You know what watch all of it and let me know if I'm supposed to be outraged because I don't even know how to feel about this.

Ajay Bhatt is a Big Deal

This is a great intel commercial I always see on ESPN when I'm watching Sportscenter. It stars Ajay Bhatt who invented USB which is pretty impressive. The dean of the Computer Engineering department at my school was one of the inventors of Java (the programming language not the country/coffee) and the Indian students are all dying to blow him. He's like their LeBron.

Baby Just Say...Yes.

"This is Love story plus Viva La Vida with piano cello and percussion. I enjoy it because I'm a giant faggot who legitimately enjoys Taylor Swift's music & you know I'm serious because she's not even hot." - Fahad Masood.

The NBA, It's Faaaaaantaaaaastic

I love the NBA commercials, I especially like this one from the Cavaliers because I'm easily impressed, however I think I found my new favorite NBA commercial. It stars Jeff Foster of the Indiana Pacers and it's phenomenal.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

The most dangerous man in the world

Hector Reynosa, defender for the Mexican soccer league's Chivas Chupacabras was suspended indefinitely for an "inappropriate celebration" which involved him pretending to cough and spit in his Argentinian opponent's face, a reference to the swine flu pandemic for which Mexico City (more like Mexico Shitty!!!) is ground zero. I want to take this moment to applaud Senor Reynosa for his wit and creativity but could you imagine if a Mexican spit and coughed on you?!?! I mean even before this H1N1 visa business it would've been a little disconcerting but afterwards it's downright terrifying. I'm pretty sure being trapped in a room with a Mexican with the sniffles is something that belongs in the Saw series.

CNN Sheds Light on Pakistan's Red Light District / Claims the Lives of A Thousand Innocent Erections

CNN.com did a piece on Pakistan's Heera Mundi recently that focuses on Artist Iqbal Hussain, whose paintings featured sex workers.  It is a fascinating, short piece that you should read but won't so I am embedding the video here.  Hussain's point of view is an interesting one as he grew up in the shadows of the Heera Mandi (his mother was a prostitute who died last month at 98, so I guess she showed chlamydia what's what).  

It does however ruin any Madhuri in Devdas fantasies you pervs may have had.  It seems it's not all item numbers in designer corsets but more like venereal diseases and lots of empty meaningless interactions.  I think Saroj Khan and Sanjay Leela Bansali owe us all an apology as well as a refund for the one way ticket to Lahore in the middle of peak season one may or may not have purchased after watching the Ishq Kameena video on youtube last week.  Uncle Amresh Puri sat through approximately 1700 Mujrah scenes in his career but never did we hear the phrase "hot, sweaty rat-infested rooms".   This is disappointing.  Dammit desi prostitutes, why do you insist on not fitting in my box of uninformed delusions.

Check out the article here.

Welcome My Darling

If you decide to watch the video above be prepared to sit through the five most uncomfortable minutes of your life. What was the direction for this video? "Ladies and what I believe is a gentleman, you guys are sexy enough but something's missing. I know! Get them sneakers!" Is this what passes for a video honey in Swat? So many questions.
The dance moves are nice though. I like the "bend over real fast to throw hair in your face then spin" move, it's actually what made Raheel fall for me....um....this is why we don't blog anymore!

Oh and a confused thank you to Ainy for the link...why?

*Citation Needed

The above video has been making the rounds on the innernets primarily by linking it in your Facebook status and it is pretty nice but really, what are your sources? Are we now allowed to say whatever we want provided we set it to a catchy tune? La Deee Daaaa Sepia Mutiny is garbage Na Na NAAAAAAAA.

Japan>Everyone

Above you'll find my new favorite show (sorry "Dhani Tackles The Globe") Call Cat Sh!t One, or in the United States; "Apocalypse Meow."Seriously. It's about....well I don't know what it's about because I don't read comic books or whatever this is all based on. HOWEVAH! I hope it's a lot like the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan only with fluffy animals. FINGERS CROSSED!

Alligators Have Fur?

The Ying Yang Twins had a cribs episode a couple of years back that I actually remember watching and wondering if the Ying Yang Twins were functionally retarded. The video above is a translation of that cribs episode and it's absolutely brilliant. It also answers a lot of questions. Enjoy.

What's Going On?

Raheel!

So I guess we should explain ourselves for our lack of posts the past 2-3 months. Honestly it just boils down to us being busy. Creatively Raheel and I are trying to find who we are. Raheel hasn't posted in such a long time because he's been chosen to be a part of the reality show "Dance India, Dance" (above) and I have to say he's really got a gift, he's so nimble! I've been busy with my burgeoning athletic career as pointguard for Team Slumdog. Raheel and I have also been experimenting with our music and I think we're really close to our big break, I think 2009 is going to be a big year for "MadherChore and the MilfHunters". We're a pretty eclectic group, kind of like OutKast meets The Monkees meets Pussycat Dolls (I'm Nicole) meets Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan meets Bombay Vikings. But none of that excuses the fact that we've neglected all 19 of you who read this fine blog. We'll try our gosh darndest to do a better job of giving you whatever it is this site gives you. Seriously, we will try to post regularly and often. We'll also try to hone our skills and give you a better site to visit when you don't feel like doing something productive. Seriously, mazak ki elawa, we're going to try to do better.

I See Your Point

12 attackers besieged the convoy for 25 minutes and all 12 got away.

I've been hearing that there are some readers that took exception with the way I wrote about the Lahore situation. After re-reading the post I understand why you would feel that I was disrespectful about the situation and I probably should've edited it however I think that post was more for me than for you. The whole situation is intensely frustrating for me as a Pakistani. The shock and horror wore off quite quickly and a depression and indifference took over. The situation always gets worse and the government always ignores it. The Mariott Hotel bombing was supposed to be "the Pakistani 9/11" and Zardari and the rest of the government said "we'll catch the cowardly terrorists behind these acts" and everyone forgot about it. Then Mumbai happened and shocked everyone, I personally was concerned because of the risk of Hindu-Muslim riots which would've been disastrous but thank God that didn't happen (that is also one of the reasons why I treated it more seriously). But Mumbai happened and they started blaming the ISI and Pakistan and Pakistanis started getting angry that they were under attack because their government for some reason couldn't admit to the fact that some terrorists are born in Pakistan, that Pakistan has a problem with terrorism. And still, this situation had the opportunity to be a catalyst for change. Maybe finally after an attack on national heroes the Pakistani people would finally show anger towards the Taleban, Lashkar e Tayyiba, and the inability of the government to do anything about it. But now it seems like that's not going to be the case since there are already people blaming Indian intelligence and the Tamil Tigers. It's frustrating to me as a Muslim when other Muslims can't condemn the Taleban or Lashkar e Tayyiba or yes even Hamas because "they do good too." Just because you build tents for displaced earthquake victims or hand out food packages to your people doesn't erase the fact that you destroy families when you take the lives of innocent men, women, and children. The entire situation is immensely disappointing when the leader of Pakistan doesn't even address the people of Pakistan directly but instead leaves a prepared message to be released to the press; "we'll catch the cowardly terrorists behind these attacks." The ineffectiveness of this government would be comical if the leaders weren't a reflection of the people. So I'm sorry that I couldn't treat the situation with the importance that it deserved. Of course it's a big deal but I seriously doubt that it changes anything within Pakistan. I just hope I'm wrong.

AAAAAAND WE'RE BACK!!

Happier times.

So, this is our first post in a month or so and while I'd love to provide you with more cuddly animal videos (wasn't that porcupine the cutest!) I can't, because Pakistan is worse than ever which is hard to believe because Pakistan has been pretty terrible some times. If you haven't heard some dudes opened fire on the Sri Lankan cricket team marking the end of any international cricket match held within Pakistan forever. So that's fun because cricket sucks. According to the BBC, at least 5 police men were killed and several Sri Lankan cricket players were wounded. Sanath Jayasuriya, the Sri Lankan captain, said that all of his players were doing well but were in a state of shock. In related news, I'm watching "Billu Barber" and Shahrukh Khan just took out a light saber. As more stuff happens we'll keep you posted but probably not because we don't update regularly so the next time we meet will probably be after all of this blows over and more depressing stuff happens in Pakistan because Pakistan wants to be the new Afghanistan because Afghanistan was so nineties.

Bad Form!

Bush got booed at Obama's inauguration as he heard Hail to The Chief. He deserved it, if I can boo Alex Smith (49ers QB) for having small hands I should be allowed to boo George Bush whenever I effing feel like it.

One More Reason We'll Miss Bush

I meant the last post to be George Bush's bid farewell but he was so important in the world for eight years that it's hard to believe that this is the end of our relationship.

Has anyone read the "Bushisms" wikipedia entry? It's funnier than LOLcatz, or Chuck Norris Facts, or Midget Por..umm...or Dane Cook. It's a comedic gold mine, also interesting to not is that he hasn't had that many slip ups, I mean for a president I guess it's not that bad but how many of us have slipped up from time to time and said something embarrassing? Anyways, I'm gonna list them out for you here and you'll laugh and comment and pass it on to your friends because this is a mutual relationship and I need your approval because I've no self esteem. Carry on!

• "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

• "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

• "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

• "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

• "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

• "This thaw—took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw."—Alexandria, La., Oct. 20, 2008

• "Before I arrived in President, During I arrived in President" December 1,2008

• "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." --Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004

• "I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." --White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

• "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." 5/5/2000

• "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

• "For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times." --Tokyo, 18 February, 2002

• "And they have no disregard for human life."—Describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008

• "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." --Washington DC, 11 May, 2001

• "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself." --Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003

• "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." --Washington DC, 17 September, 2004

• "The best way to defeat this enemy in the long run is to deny them the recruiting tools, that are and-and recruiterments made possible by resentment." --November 2007

• "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

• "I understand small business growth. I was one." New York Daily News, February 19, 2000
• "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

• "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007

• "Reading is the basics for all learning." --Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000

• "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." --Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001

Farewell My King

George Bush is leaving office today and we want to say goodbye to arguably the worst president in the history of the United States of America. We will do so by posting a few of his most memorable youtube moments to see what we'll miss out on when we have a dignified and professional president in office. To be fair, I got the videos and idea from Time magazine.

Perhaps the most favorable youtube moment for Bush, the "Shoethrower" video displayed his surprising agility. Maybe it's not too surprising, after all Bush was a cheerleading captain at Yale. In related news, the shoethrower is still in jail and looking for asylum in Switzerland because his life's in danger or something, I think it's obvious that he's just trying to get out of Iraq and Visas are hard to come by so why not try throwing a shoe at somebody who's unpopular and hope that you make friends that way? That's how I was able to sit with the cool kids at lunch in the eighth grade.

This video is of George Bush dancing with an African band in the Rose Garden in 2007. It's really uncomfortable and I think at the 22 second mark you can see Laura Bush wonder why she married this man. Similarly at the 22 month mark of his second term I think America asked itself why it elected this guy. Again, and really if he was elected twice was his first term really that terrible? My biggest concern with this clip has to do with the stare Bush gives the drummer as he drums. Is he serving him? (more importantly is that Meagan Goode? Do I have to watch this movie?)

(start watching at 1:00) This clip of George Bush talking to Tony Blair made headlines in 2006 for Bush's use of the word "shit." OOOOH! EMBARRASSING! no, that's not newsworthy to me, he's a grown man let him use the words he wants to use, like "misunderestimated". However, I want to know, did he use irony right? What is ironic about Syria telling Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and then it's over. Where's the irony? Please tell me that a Yale educated man and 2 term president knew how to use irony the right way, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because I don't think i could handle it if the president learned irony from Alanis Morissette.

Again with the dancing! Not even a school principal would act like this. It's truly embarrassing to think that this man was in charge of our nation. I don't even mind if he's a fun loving guy, it's nice to have a president you can relate to but there's a certain level of professionalism that is needed as president and shuffling around like a moron doesn't meet that level. I don't believe that Bush is stupid I mean he graduated from Yale that has to count for something regardless of who is daddy is but wow, he's just a terrible dancer. Good thing we have a black president now.

Probably the greatest presidential clip until Clinton's "Secrets of the Oval Office" gets released. This one is of George Bush giving Angela Merkel, Germany's Chancellor (she's like the president of Germany), a nice awkward backrub. The reaction from Merkel is truly priceless not only the grimace but the slamming of the fists afterwards. What was he thinking? He was just walking and decided to give her a backrub? Whatever dude, I respect the president for his forthrightness, I tried that same move and now I have a court date set for March. I think Bush should host "Between Two Ferns" we all know he's not going to be a Jimmy Carter type humanitarian so he'll need something to do and this is that something.

What'd He Do Right?

I hate Keith Olbermann as much as you do but I couldn't resist posting this clip where he blasts Bush and runs down his many many many many failures in eight minutes. It's a strange thing, Bush was a terrible president but I like to think that he's getting unfair treatment from all the hippy, treehugging, Godless commies but then I can't think of 5 good things he did when he was in office. Anyways enjoy;

Even More Golden Globe Coverage - Because Why Not?

We've decided to extend our coverage of the Golden Globes because the world has gone Slumdog crazy...and because I needed an excuse to post this clip.

It's AR Rahman, easily the most talented individual in the Indian film industry for the last 20 years, receiving his award on Sunday. A couple of reasons why this clip is so fantastic.

The announcer messes up his name, "AR ROOHmen"...boo. Then hottie Kate Beckinsale says it correctly when she announces the winner, probably because she's an angel but maybe because she can read. Sadly she is uncorrectly corrected later on by David Duchovney who again pronounces it "Roohman." He then downloads porn on his iPhone, because you know he's a sex addict and has an insatiable appetite or so I'm told how it works with those things..... Moving on!

When coming up to the podium, sweet, innocent and adorable AR is conflicted with a dilemma many sweet, innocent, adorable desi men have encountered in the past:

"Should I hug and kiss this white woman?"

AR successfully goes in for a kiss and it looks like he ponders a hug, only to think twice about it undoubtedly because he's worried about what Yeh Log Kya Kahenge and puts his hand down. It's a split second, but if you rewind and watch it back again and again, I think it could make for a hilarious gif. Also if you press pause at he right time, it looks like he's doing something wildly inappropriate with his hand...giggles.

Finally, after AR crosses the treacherous Beckinsale Pass he comes face to face with Sean, P Diddy, Combs. Drawing on the lessons he's just learned from his encounter with the actress, AR decides to eff it and goes for the whole kit n kaboodle. Not only completing a successful multi-step handshake with the rap empresario, and part time douche, but also forcing himself on to him for a hug. What a moment! Jaya hooooo...Jayaa hooooo indeed my friend.

Join us next time as we discuss other life changing events at the Golden Globes i.e:

• Hey how about we keep all sharp objects away from Anil Kapoor in the future. He may hurt himself.
  
• Do you think Freida Pinto is into chubby bloggers?
• Can we all agree Slumdog is not a Bollywood production. Slumdog is to Bollywood what Valkyrie is to the German film industry (whatever it's called..Mollywood? Berlywood? Das Hollywood?)
• And finally, seriously guys, what about like chubby but with a sense of humor? Freida I want to be the Athos to your Porthos...the Heer to your Ranja...the Ram(brand bread) to your Makhan..
  

Ron Paul; Real Talk

I don't know much about Ron Paul and I don't feel like reading his wikipedia entry but here he is giving his reasons for opposing a bill that recognizes Israel's right to defend itself and calls for a ceasefire. I like what he says here but I still wouldn't vote for him. I can't take anyone with two first names seriously.

The bastion of insightful dialogue that is the youtube comment boards seem to be all in favor of Ron Paul's (see, I can't say "Paul's" because then you'd be like "who's Paul?" so I need to say his full name and frankly, it's a waste of my time and yours) statements. Pro-Ron Paul commenter "Jehnubis" says; "Our Four Fathers would be proud of this man! Ron Paul represent the true REPUBLIC!" But the most poignant and scathing comment comes from "Meotch313" with his analysis "assreal are the real terrorists" food for thought indeed.

Bollywood meets Hollywood; Golden Globes Edition

I think Priyanka should watch her back, that's all I'm gonna say about that.

The Golden Globes were on TV on Sunday and no one watched (seriously) but my sister told me Shahrukh Khan was on it and your favorite movie of the year, the brilliant "Slumdog Millionaire," won a crap load of awards including best picture and best soundtrack. Both were deserved because the soundtrack is brilliant, this is my ringtone and I'm the most popular kid in school. Shahrukh Khan was presenting Slumdog Millionaire with your other bhabi, Frieda Pinto, and given the amount of contempt I have for him I think it means something when I say he did a pretty decent job (minus his fruity tie, I think he should've worn something like this. Video Below). Even Anil Kapoor made the trip to the Golden Globes and while some of you may blast him for not shaving at such a prestigious event I'm going to defend him with the argument that shaving takes a lot of time and it's gonna grow back anyways and you're jealous that you're not man enough to grow such a sweet 'stache (or such copious amounts of body hair). In all Slumdog Millionaire won; Best Drama, Best Director (Danny Boyle), Best Screenplay (Simon Beaufoy), and Best Original Score (AR Rahman, who might be an Indian hobbit). I've been told by my brain that if you win a Golden Globe then you're a shoe in for the Oscar and since that, for some odd reason, is the award everyone wants to win and not a Nickelodean Award as I had thought when I was 8, so fans of the movie should be excited. I know I am.

OUTRAGEOUS!

Harry The Prince of Wales is under attack for his use of the derogitory slur "Paki" when referring to his Pakistani-British comrade, Ahmed "Paki" Shahnawaz Palace (citation needed). We here at BihariShabab are outraged at Harold's Outrageous remarks. Outrage is raging within us. Really, we are outside of ourselves with rage. The horrendous video is belows and I must warn you that it is NSFW, not only for the terrible language but also due to Prince Harry being a ginger kid, it's horrific.

Ok, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't watch the video before writing this but after watching it I think Prince Harry is my second favorite royal, the first is obviously Queen Rania. Still, if you are offended by Harry's comments then you can sign a petition here.

Your Classic Bollywood Moment

Ajay Devgan stars as a sexual harrasser extrodinaire in this classic Bollywood song; "Akele na bazaar jaya karo" (don't go to the store alone) from the award winning film "Major Saab" (Major Swiss Car Company). Now I have to applaud Ajay's ambition to try to woo a girl as out of his league as Sonali Bendre but why is he so effing creepy? Anyways, enjoy.

Asif Mandvi On Sanjay Gupta

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Medicine Cabinet

Barack Obama Interview

John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video

Funny Election Video

Maybe the most brilliant thing ever.

Brown Surgeon General?

Image courtesy of Shaadi.Com

CNN is reporting that it's very own special correspondent, Sanjay Gupta, is being considered for the post of Surgeon General by Barack Obama and his cabinet. Sanjay Gupta's experience both in government, as an advisor to Hilary Clinton in 1997, and medicine, where he is on the staff and faculty in the Department of Neurosurgery at Emory University. When not at Emory, Sanjay Gupta works for CNN where he is responsible for keeping Larry King alive. Sanjay Gupta, who no doubt deserves a Getting To Know feature, was born in Michigan and has an interest in complicated spinal operations, he was also voted one of the sexiest men in 2003 by People Magazine (2003 was an off year for sexy men, I hadn't blossomed until 2005). These facts lead this blogger to believe that Sanjay Gupta is the brown Jack Shepard, and yes, I am going to make you google Jack Shepard, Lord knows I'd like to.....Ummm, I'm gonna leave now.

Hasina Maan Jayegee

It's a New Year and not much feels different. I can still write extraordinarily crappy headlines and a South Asian nation can still elect extraordinarily crappy presidents. In this case, Bangladesh (the country not the producers who's beats are "Bangladesh, it's just foreign to the ears") elected Sheikh Hasina to the office of the presidency. Sheikh Hasina is renowned for being the Bengali Benazir Bhutto and looking like the evil saas in most Indian dramas. Hasina was actually running against another fantastically corrupt politician in Khaleda Zia and won in a landslide victory which Zia's party doesn't recognize because they're a little retarded. Long story short, women are terrible leaders. Benazir, Hasina, Zia, Mother Teresa, perhaps they stole from their countries so that they could shop because I'm told that's what women like to do. And for good measure, Bengalis eat fish. Thank you and welcome to the year 2009 everyone, it's gonna be a good one.