Raj Rajaratnam's Gonna Get-a Hurt Real Bad!

That's such a sweet picture, if that was me it'd be my new facebook photo.

This is to spite you Raheel.....

Raj Rajaratnam is a portfolio manager for the Galleon Group, one of the largest hedge funds in the country, as well as one of the richest men in America. He's also accused of insider trading.

Rajaratnam is accused with 7 others of generating $25 million in profit by using insider information to trade securities in several companies including Google. This is illegal. His bail is set at $100 million which seems excessive until you realize that he's the 599th richest person in America according to Forbes with an estimated net worth of $1.3 billion. To put this into perspective for you; 1.3 billion American Dollars is equivalent to 23,140,208,000,000 Vietnamese Dongs. You don't need me to tell you that that's a lot of Dongs. Not only is Rajaratnam accused of insider trading but he's also under investigation for bankrolling the Tamil Tigers, the notorious Sri Lankan softball team, through a fake charity organization.

Adding a bit of international flavor to these affairs is U.S. attorney Preet Bharara who called Rajaratnam a race traitor and said, "greed is not good, this case should be a wake up call for Wall Street." Just some words to live by from Bharararararararara-ji.

As an aside...I can't quit you Biharishabab!

The Brown Man Feels The Heat

Neel Kashkari, the man in charge of the bailout who was profiled earlier here and at JFK airport security hahahhahahhahaa, had his ass handed to him by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, culminating in Elijah "Clay Davis" Cummings asking him if he was a "chump." Of course that question was taken out of context, in reality Cummings was telling Neel that his constituents are wondering whether or not Kashkari is a chump and getting played by AIG and other companies that are recieving money from the government. It must suck to get slapped down by Dennis Kucinich on national television. He's a small man.

Thanks to Saad and UK youtube for the link and the headline...Props where props are due.

Pakistan Is Broke

Two of these people were in charge of Pakistan.

According to Germany's foreign minister Pakistan is in dire need of a loan as it only has "a few days" to raise billions of dollars before Italy breaks Pakistan's knees. In response to the crisis Pakistan's military has decided to halt construction on a $210 million headquarters that would house three branches of the military. Instead they'll use that money towards a coup attempt in a few months. So who's to blame for Pakistan's crisis? Is it Zardari? Is it.....well no it's Zaradari. I think that when you elect a president who is world renowned for his fantastic mustache and corruption then you shouldn't be surprised when the government is seizing your bank accounts and all of a sudden one of the world's emerging markets is on the brink of ruin. I think you're lucky that Zardari didn't tie your girl to railroad tracks like the cartoon villain he truly is, Pakistan.

Bhel-out?

Kashmiri and now notable Desi, Neel "Krazzzzyyyy Eyes" Kashkari, has been appointed by Henry (Robert?) Paulson to oversee the government's $700 billion (or 40,225,500,000,000.00 x 10^9 Zimbabwean Dollar) bailout program to ensure that the nation's economy does not fail. Neel is currently the interim Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability and before that he was a vice-president at Goldman-Sachs where he headed up the.....wait for it......information technology security investment banking practice. He's got a Bachelors and master's from the University of Illinois Champaigne-Urbana as well as an MBA from the Wharton School in Pennsylvania. Our potential vice-president, Sarah Palin, has a similarly illustrious educational background; a semester at Hawaii Pacific University, one year at North Idaho Community College, one year at the University of Idaho (you-da-ho!), a semester at Matanuska-Susitna community college, and finally 3 semesters at the University of Idaho to complete her Bachelors in communications-journalism. Kashkari is only 35 and he's been given control of the one of the most controversial financial programs since FDR's New Deal so that's impressive. Also impressive is the wealth of information available on wikipedia. If I copy and paste directly from wiki onto a blog post does that count as plagarism?

Stock Tips! *update*

This could be you!

Bollywood and Hollywood are strengthening their ties with several deals between the two industries including a deal between Steven Speilberg's Dreamworks studio and the Ambani Reliance group. Now Bollywood is making waves in the stock market too with the Wall Street Journal reporting that Bollywood stocks could be the next hot commodity. The WSJ cites the television and film production deal that Viacom has signed as well as UTV's role in the production of "The Happening" by our douchey brown brother, Manoj Raat Shayalaman, as evidence that Bollywood production companies are viable in Hollywood. Viacom might* be owned by the Devil so it's entirely possible that the deal is terrible for Bollywood, however I don't know anything about stocks or money as evidenced by the abundance of debt that I've accrued thanks to the ridiculous need we have to be educated. So if you want money and trust the Wall Street Journal which is more professional than the Wall Street Diary then you should mortgage your house and put everything you own into the Reliance ADA group and UTV and hope that you make a billion dollars.

*Yup, this settles it. Viacom is owned by the Devil, who else would want the username, IP address, and details of video clips youtube users are watching?