Bihari Shabab Nerd Alert! بحري شباب نرد الرت

I would like to grab your attention for a moment from the dangerous rap music Fahad carelessly posts on this family friendly site. Seriously, cute kids is how they get you hooked and the next thing you know you've been incarcerated 7 times since 2003 like DMX. I've seen The Wire, I know how it works.

Anyway, as you can see in the headline, Bihari Shabab can now proudly claim access to fancy future English to Urdu technology thanks to the geniuses at Google India. It's a Beta Program for transliteration for a number of languages. We can't tell you how excited we are about this. Let me demonstrate:

In the past, when talking about your promiscuous mother, we would be limited in our ability to insult. Maybe we would be able to get away with "Teri Maa", but our readers were probably looking at boring variations of "Your Mother". But now......

أبكي والدة
or
तेरी माँ
or
తేరి మా

The possibilities are endless, well unless you want to transileterate into a non-desi language. In which case you can go فوك yourself. Many thanks to the ever resourceful Saad Abdali for the linkage.

You can get to the arabic site here and the Indian languages here. Knock yourselves out.

You Can Vote However You Like

It's no secret that I am the resident rap expert and like to shoehorn in the hip-hop music whenever I feel like it, much to the chagrin of Raheel, but eff him everyone knows I'm the Gandhi to his Nehru. Anyways, I think this is appropriate since we're going into election coverage mode before we revert back to the usual shenanigans. This is from kids from the Ron Clark (yes THE Ron Clark) Academy in Atlanta performing "You Can Vote However You Like" a parody of TI'S (pronounced; TEE-EYE) "You Can Have Whatever You Like."

Should we just ignore the part where they messed up? I mean, it seems like this was a pretty big deal, they probably should've had the timing down perfectly....we're gonna ignore it? Sounds good.

Lyrics:

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain is the man
Fought for us in Vietnam
You know if anyone can
Help our country he can
Taxes droppin low
Dont you know oils gonna flow
Drill it low
I'll show our economy will grow

McCain's the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They'll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might (BRAAAAAAAAAAAT)

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama's new, he's younger too
Don't worry if he's black, he's not wack
The Middle Class he will help you
He'll bring a change, he's got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq's a shame
Four more years would be insane
It would also be insane if you read all of this

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won't
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won't!
Have enough experience - you know that they don't
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won't

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you're going to have some drama
We need it
HE'LL BRING IT ON AGAIN!
He'll be it
YOU'LL SEE IT
We'll do it
GET TO IT
Let's move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I'm talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN'T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!
Plus Palin is stupid!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

BEST CAMPAIGN COMMERCIAL EVER!

Seriously, it's got everything. It's simple, has fantastic music, and just the right level of cattiness and humor. Best of all it's only 30 seconds long and eminently parodiable (which is a real word). Anyway, look for tons of these to pop up on youtube the next couple of days. We might even do one or two. You're going down Sepia Mutiny, you literature loving elitists.

Happy Belated Diwali & New Year Folks

Bihari Shabab would like to send out heartiest Diwali wishes to our prized Hindu readership. It is an honor to have you guys here and we couldn't do it without you. No seriously, you guys are the only ones with any cash around here. Plus I'm pretty sure you own three-fourths of the internet and can get us shut down whenever you want. We kid because we love....and because we're going to need a loan here pretty soon.

Now being the uncultured jackals that we are here at Bihari Shabab, Diwali has historically only marked the opening of the latest Shah Rukh / Karan Johar Jatin-Lalit chamkeeli extravaganza. But it's significance is so much more than that. And so we turn to our resident Hindu history expert, Dr. Laxmiprasad Wikipedia:

The festival marks the victory of good over evil, and uplifting of spiritual darkness. Symbolically it marks the homecoming of goodwill and faith after an absence, as suggested by the Ramayana.

On the day of Diwali, many wear new clothes and share sweets and snacks. Some North Indian business communities start their financial year on Diwali and new account books are opened on this day.

Hindus have several significant events associated with it:

• Return of Lord Ram to Ayodhya
• The Killing of Narakasura
• Austerities of Shakti
• Birth of Goddess Lakshmi
• Krishna defeating Indra

Awesome! So once again Happy Diwali to everyone out there, not just our Hindu readers. The festival of lights is something that can and should be appreciated by the rest of you miserable asses as well. Now we leave you with a clip that signifies how we all aspire to spend all of our Diwalis. Through the scope of Kim Sharma's ample cleavage:

Pakistan Is Broke

Two of these people were in charge of Pakistan.

According to Germany's foreign minister Pakistan is in dire need of a loan as it only has "a few days" to raise billions of dollars before Italy breaks Pakistan's knees. In response to the crisis Pakistan's military has decided to halt construction on a $210 million headquarters that would house three branches of the military. Instead they'll use that money towards a coup attempt in a few months. So who's to blame for Pakistan's crisis? Is it Zardari? Is it.....well no it's Zaradari. I think that when you elect a president who is world renowned for his fantastic mustache and corruption then you shouldn't be surprised when the government is seizing your bank accounts and all of a sudden one of the world's emerging markets is on the brink of ruin. I think you're lucky that Zardari didn't tie your girl to railroad tracks like the cartoon villain he truly is, Pakistan.