|Someone's been using Rogaine!|
With less than a week left before Pakistanis vote for their next government I've decided to do some research on the important candidates and parties in the election. This should help all of us try to come to a conclusion on who we think is the worst (hint: Nawaz Sharif...no Bilawal Bhutto...no....everybody?)
Nawaz Sharif is, according to most opinion polls, the front runner for the position of Prime Minister of Pakistan, a post he's held previously. Numerous times. But what do we really know about Pakistan's once and future Prime Minister? The following information is brought to you by Wikipedia and some other sources
Name: Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif
Born: December 25, 1949 (OOOH A CHRISTMAS BABY!) in Lahore, Pakistan. He is Punjab de sher or something along those lines, I don't speak Punjabi.
Religion: Nawaz Sharif is a Muslim, as are all the major candidates in the election. He is a conservative Muslim and during his time in office he enacted the Shariat Bill which established the Quran as the supreme law in Pakistan. Unfortunately he refused to repeal any discriminatory laws against women and minorities and also tightened up censorship all in the name of Islam. No wonder the Taliban has taken him off their list of targets. By the way, the fact that the Taliban has taken him off their no-kill list is worrying. If the Taliban is all "this guy is A-OK!" then maybe he's not A-OK?
Education: Sharif went to St. Anthony's High School in Lahore which is a private school that has produced several notable alumni including Rameez Raja. I imagine it's similar to the school the bad guys from Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander went to. Not Model College but the other one. For college he went to Government College and graduated with a degree in Art and Business. I bet he's a lovely singer, he looks like he could sing some Qawali. Finally, he got a law degree from the University of Punjab but he slept on the day they explained corruption was illegal which led to some confusion on his part.
Family: Nawaz Sharif comes from an impressive business family. His father started Ittefaq Group which became one of the largest steel companies in the country. His family's wealth is valued at $1.2 billion, making them the fourth most wealthy family in Pakistan. His brother, Shahbaz Sharif, is an accomplished politician in his own right, serving as Chief Minister of Punjab several times. His wife, Kulsoom Nawaz Sharif, is the granddaughter of The Great Gama who was "the greatest Pehlvani wrestler of all time" having never lost a match in fifty years. His daughter, Maryum, is the only one of his three children who is active in politics, playing a leadership role in his party.
Political Origin Story: In the 1970's Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto and his Pakistan People Party led government enacted a policy of nationalization. The government nationalized the airline, they nationalized the energy industry, they also nationalized the steel industry including the Ittefaq Group's steel holdings. Essentially having his family business stolen by the PPP led government, Sharif joined the Pakistan Muslim League to try to get his steel company back. Before he could though, Zia-ul-Haq hanged Bhutto. Sharif ended up supporting Zia's government and he was given back the steel mills the government had seized all while rising through the ranks of the Punjab provincial government. Apparently Sharif is still a little salty about that whole government seizing his steel mills business and he never forgave the Bhutto family. At least that's what Wikipedia tells me, although he has joined the PPP in coalition governments before so it's probably not true.
Political Career: Sharif was Chief Minister of Punjab in the late 80s, leader of the opposition against Benazir's government in the mid 90's, Prime Minister of Pakistan from 1990 to 1993 and then again from 1997 to 1999. As Chief Minister of Punjab, Sharif was responsible for modernizing the economy of Punjab and turning Punjab into the wealthiest province in Pakistan. As Prime Minister of Pakistan, Sharif was responsible for modernizing the economy of Punjab and turning Punjab into the wealthiest province in Pakistan. The latter accomplishment led to violent clashes with MQM and PPP workers in Karachi due to accusations that Sharif neglected Sindh. Apparently he's still hated by the MQM and there are accusations that he was behind some disappearances of party workers. The clashes in Karachi were so bad that the President at the time fired Sharif and appointed an interim Prime Minister. I don't know how or why the President is able to do this but the more I read about it the more I realize that the Constitution of Pakistan is just a jumbled incoherent mess. I was under the impression that the Presidency was a figurehead position except for the times where the President says it's not? I think I'm having an aneurysm trying to figure this out. Regardless, to diffuse the situation the Army stepped in and convinced both Sharif and the President at the time to resign from their posts. After he resigned, Benazir came back (she was Prime Minister before he was) then when she was forced out for corruption (again) Sharif came back and won elections in a landslide fashion. He immediately enacted the 14th amendment to the constitution which is so stupid it confuses me. The fourteenth amendment gave party leaders the power to dismiss any legislator within their party who voted against party lines even though they were democratically elected. Sharif's PML controlled the majority of the Parliament so he could get rid of almost anyone he wanted if they voted against him. This was a horrible idea because that is the opposite of what a democracy is supposed to be. Anyways! Sharif went on and conducted nuclear bomb tests the day after India tested their's and he was popular again because when it comes to politicians Pakistanis have collective amnesia. Sharif's government then declared a state of emergency because the economy bottomed out. There's nothing entertaining about that tidbit except for the Wikipedia section that says Nawaz Sharif had to suspend the Space Program due to the economy (getting a little ahead of ourselves aren't we Nawaz?). Sharif also had issues with the judiciary because the judges in Pakistan do as bad a job as the constitution does of upholding law and order at the highest levels of government. Essentially the judiciary struck down the ridiculous fourteenth amendment and gave power to the President to dismiss Sharif (they also held Sharif in contempt which is just something that happens to Prime Ministers in Pakistan I guess) and when the President ordered the military to remove Sharif from his post the military instead backed Sharif and the judge and president were both fired because life's funny like that sometimes. At some point during Sharif's second tenure Pakistan and India fought the Kargil war and due to reasons I don't feel like looking up Sharif and his generals beefed. Sharif decided to fire General Pervez Musharraf during a time where the economy was tanking, Pakistan had just lost a war to India, corruption was rampant, and law had deteriorated all around the country. Musharraf wasn't having it and he decided to overthrow Sharif and send him into exile in Saudi Arabia. Sharif came back about 10 years later in 2007 and now Pakistan is looking at repeating it's old mistakes. That was a long section. He's been very active throughout his life.
So what should Pakistanis do on Saturday? DON'T VOTE FOR NAWAZ SHARIF! At least not for Prime Minister. He seems like a lovely Chief Minister but man, you already saw what he's done. Why do Pakistani politicians get multiple chances to lead the country? Ugh, this election is dumb. So is the constitution and the judiciary. Also the parliament. They all are stupid. Don't vote for Nawaz because he already got a chance, it's not fair to the rest of the candidates. Everyone deserves a turn.