Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Bad Form!


Bush got booed at Obama's inauguration as he heard Hail to The Chief. He deserved it, if I can boo Alex Smith (49ers QB) for having small hands I should be allowed to boo George Bush whenever I effing feel like it.

One More Reason We'll Miss Bush

I meant the last post to be George Bush's bid farewell but he was so important in the world for eight years that it's hard to believe that this is the end of our relationship.

Has anyone read the "Bushisms" wikipedia entry? It's funnier than LOLcatz, or Chuck Norris Facts, or Midget Por..umm...or Dane Cook. It's a comedic gold mine, also interesting to not is that he hasn't had that many slip ups, I mean for a president I guess it's not that bad but how many of us have slipped up from time to time and said something embarrassing? Anyways, I'm gonna list them out for you here and you'll laugh and comment and pass it on to your friends because this is a mutual relationship and I need your approval because I've no self esteem. Carry on!

  • "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
  • "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
  • "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
  • "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
  • "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
  • "This thaw—took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw."—Alexandria, La., Oct. 20, 2008
  • "Before I arrived in President, During I arrived in President" December 1,2008
  • "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." --Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004
  • "I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." --White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
  • "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." 5/5/2000
  • "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
  • "For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times." --Tokyo, 18 February, 2002
  • "And they have no disregard for human life."—Describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008
  • "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." --Washington DC, 11 May, 2001
  • "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself." --Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003
  • "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." --Washington DC, 17 September, 2004
  • "The best way to defeat this enemy in the long run is to deny them the recruiting tools, that are and-and recruiterments made possible by resentment." --November 2007
  • "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000
  • "I understand small business growth. I was one." New York Daily News, February 19, 2000
  • "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
  • "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007
  • "Reading is the basics for all learning." --Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000
  • "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." --Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Farewell My King

George Bush is leaving office today and we want to say goodbye to arguably the worst president in the history of the United States of America. We will do so by posting a few of his most memorable youtube moments to see what we'll miss out on when we have a dignified and professional president in office. To be fair, I got the videos and idea from Time magazine.

Perhaps the most favorable youtube moment for Bush, the "Shoethrower" video displayed his surprising agility. Maybe it's not too surprising, after all Bush was a cheerleading captain at Yale. In related news, the shoethrower is still in jail and looking for asylum in Switzerland because his life's in danger or something, I think it's obvious that he's just trying to get out of Iraq and Visas are hard to come by so why not try throwing a shoe at somebody who's unpopular and hope that you make friends that way? That's how I was able to sit with the cool kids at lunch in the eighth grade.

This video is of George Bush dancing with an African band in the Rose Garden in 2007. It's really uncomfortable and I think at the 22 second mark you can see Laura Bush wonder why she married this man. Similarly at the 22 month mark of his second term I think America asked itself why it elected this guy. Again, and really if he was elected twice was his first term really that terrible? My biggest concern with this clip has to do with the stare Bush gives the drummer as he drums. Is he serving him? (more importantly is that Meagan Goode? Do I have to watch this movie?)

(start watching at 1:00) This clip of George Bush talking to Tony Blair made headlines in 2006 for Bush's use of the word "shit." OOOOH! EMBARRASSING! no, that's not newsworthy to me, he's a grown man let him use the words he wants to use, like "misunderestimated". However, I want to know, did he use irony right? What is ironic about Syria telling Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and then it's over. Where's the irony? Please tell me that a Yale educated man and 2 term president knew how to use irony the right way, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because I don't think i could handle it if the president learned irony from Alanis Morissette.

Again with the dancing! Not even a school principal would act like this. It's truly embarrassing to think that this man was in charge of our nation. I don't even mind if he's a fun loving guy, it's nice to have a president you can relate to but there's a certain level of professionalism that is needed as president and shuffling around like a moron doesn't meet that level. I don't believe that Bush is stupid I mean he graduated from Yale that has to count for something regardless of who is daddy is but wow, he's just a terrible dancer. Good thing we have a black president now.

Probably the greatest presidential clip until Clinton's "Secrets of the Oval Office" gets released. This one is of George Bush giving Angela Merkel, Germany's Chancellor (she's like the president of Germany), a nice awkward backrub. The reaction from Merkel is truly priceless not only the grimace but the slamming of the fists afterwards. What was he thinking? He was just walking and decided to give her a backrub? Whatever dude, I respect the president for his forthrightness, I tried that same move and now I have a court date set for March. I think Bush should host "Between Two Ferns" we all know he's not going to be a Jimmy Carter type humanitarian so he'll need something to do and this is that something.

Monday, January 19, 2009

What'd He Do Right?

I hate Keith Olbermann as much as you do but I couldn't resist posting this clip where he blasts Bush and runs down his many many many many failures in eight minutes. It's a strange thing, Bush was a terrible president but I like to think that he's getting unfair treatment from all the hippy, treehugging, Godless commies but then I can't think of 5 good things he did when he was in office. Anyways enjoy;

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Even More Golden Globe Coverage - Because Why Not?


We've decided to extend our coverage of the Golden Globes because the world has gone Slumdog crazy...and because I needed an excuse to post this clip.

It's AR Rahman, easily the most talented individual in the Indian film industry for the last 20 years, receiving his award on Sunday. A couple of reasons why this clip is so fantastic.

The announcer messes up his name, "AR ROOHmen" Then hottie Kate Beckinsale says it correctly when she announces the winner, probably because she's an angel but maybe because she can read. Sadly she is uncorrectly corrected later on by David Duchovney who again pronounces it "Roohman." He then downloads porn on his iPhone, because you know he's a sex addict and has an insatiable appetite or so I'm told how it works with those things..... Moving on!

When coming up to the podium, sweet, innocent and adorable AR is conflicted with a dilemma many sweet, innocent, adorable desi men have encountered in the past:

"Should I hug and kiss this white woman?"

AR successfully goes in for a kiss and it looks like he ponders a hug, only to think twice about it undoubtedly because he's worried about what Yeh Log Kya Kahenge and puts his hand down. It's a split second, but if you rewind and watch it back again and again, I think it could make for a hilarious gif. Also if you press pause at he right time, it looks like he's doing something wildly inappropriate with his hand...giggles.

Finally, after AR crosses the treacherous Beckinsale Pass he comes face to face with Sean, P Diddy, Combs. Drawing on the lessons he's just learned from his encounter with the actress, AR decides to eff it and goes for the whole kit n kaboodle. Not only completing a successful multi-step handshake with the rap empresario, and part time douche, but also forcing himself on to him for a hug. What a moment! Jaya hooooo...Jayaa hooooo indeed my friend.

Join us next time as we discuss other life changing events at the Golden Globes i.e:

  • Hey how about we keep all sharp objects away from Anil Kapoor in the future. He may hurt himself.
  • Do you think Freida Pinto is into chubby bloggers?
  • Can we all agree Slumdog is not a Bollywood production. Slumdog is to Bollywood what Valkyrie is to the German film industry (whatever it's called..Mollywood? Berlywood? Das Hollywood?)
  • And finally, seriously guys, what about like chubby but with a sense of humor? Freida I want to be the Athos to your Porthos...the Heer to your Ranja...the Ram(brand bread) to your Makhan..

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ron Paul; Real Talk

I don't know much about Ron Paul and I don't feel like reading his wikipedia entry but here he is giving his reasons for opposing a bill that recognizes Israel's right to defend itself and calls for a ceasefire. I like what he says here but I still wouldn't vote for him. I can't take anyone with two first names seriously.

The bastion of insightful dialogue that is the youtube comment boards seem to be all in favor of Ron Paul's (see, I can't say "Paul's" because then you'd be like "who's Paul?" so I need to say his full name and frankly, it's a waste of my time and yours) statements. Pro-Ron Paul commenter "Jehnubis" says; "Our Four Fathers would be proud of this man! Ron Paul represent the true REPUBLIC!" But the most poignant and scathing comment comes from "Meotch313" with his analysis "assreal are the real terrorists" food for thought indeed.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bollywood meets Hollywood; Golden Globes Edition

I think Priyanka should watch her back, that's all I'm gonna say about that.

The Golden Globes were on TV on Sunday and no one watched (seriously) but my sister told me Shahrukh Khan was on it and your favorite movie of the year, the brilliant "Slumdog Millionaire," won a crap load of awards including best picture and best soundtrack. Both were deserved because the soundtrack is brilliant, this is my ringtone and I'm the most popular kid in school. Shahrukh Khan was presenting Slumdog Millionaire with your other bhabi, Frieda Pinto, and given the amount of contempt I have for him I think it means something when I say he did a pretty decent job (minus his fruity tie, I think he should've worn something like this. Video Below). Even Anil Kapoor made the trip to the Golden Globes and while some of you may blast him for not shaving at such a prestigious event I'm going to defend him with the argument that shaving takes a lot of time and it's gonna grow back anyways and you're jealous that you're not man enough to grow such a sweet 'stache (or such copious amounts of body hair). In all Slumdog Millionaire won; Best Drama, Best Director (Danny Boyle), Best Screenplay (Simon Beaufoy), and Best Original Score (AR Rahman, who might be an Indian hobbit). I've been told by my brain that if you win a Golden Globe then you're a shoe in for the Oscar and since that, for some odd reason, is the award everyone wants to win and not a Nickelodean Award as I had thought when I was 8, so fans of the movie should be excited. I know I am.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Harry The Prince of Wales is under attack for his use of the derogitory slur "Paki" when referring to his Pakistani-British comrade, Ahmed "Paki" Shahnawaz Palace (citation needed). We here at BihariShabab are outraged at Harold's Outrageous remarks. Outrage is raging within us. Really, we are outside of ourselves with rage. The horrendous video is belows and I must warn you that it is NSFW, not only for the terrible language but also due to Prince Harry being a ginger kid, it's horrific.

Ok, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't watch the video before writing this but after watching it I think Prince Harry is my second favorite royal, the first is obviously Queen Rania. Still, if you are offended by Harry's comments then you can sign a petition here.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Your Classic Bollywood Moment

Ajay Devgan stars as a sexual harrasser extrodinaire in this classic Bollywood song; "Akele na bazaar jaya karo" (don't go to the store alone) from the award winning film "Major Saab" (Major Swiss Car Company). Now I have to applaud Ajay's ambition to try to woo a girl as out of his league as Sonali Bendre but why is he so effing creepy? Anyways, enjoy.

Asif Mandvi On Sanjay Gupta


Maybe the most brilliant thing ever.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Brown Surgeon General?

Image courtesy of Shaadi.Com

CNN is reporting that it's very own special correspondent, Sanjay Gupta, is being considered for the post of Surgeon General by Barack Obama and his cabinet. Sanjay Gupta's experience both in government, as an advisor to Hilary Clinton in 1997, and medicine, where he is on the staff and faculty in the Department of Neurosurgery at Emory University. When not at Emory, Sanjay Gupta works for CNN where he is responsible for keeping Larry King alive. Sanjay Gupta, who no doubt deserves a Getting To Know feature, was born in Michigan and has an interest in complicated spinal operations, he was also voted one of the sexiest men in 2003 by People Magazine (2003 was an off year for sexy men, I hadn't blossomed until 2005). These facts lead this blogger to believe that Sanjay Gupta is the brown Jack Shepard, and yes, I am going to make you google Jack Shepard, Lord knows I'd like to.....Ummm, I'm gonna leave now.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Hasina Maan Jayegee


It's a New Year and not much feels different. I can still write extraordinarily crappy headlines and a South Asian nation can still elect extraordinarily crappy presidents. In this case, Bangladesh (the country not the producers who's beats are "Bangladesh, it's just foreign to the ears") elected Sheikh Hasina to the office of the presidency. Sheikh Hasina is renowned for being the Bengali Benazir Bhutto and looking like the evil saas in most Indian dramas. Hasina was actually running against another fantastically corrupt politician in Khaleda Zia and won in a landslide victory which Zia's party doesn't recognize because they're a little retarded. Long story short, women are terrible leaders. Benazir, Hasina, Zia, Mother Teresa, perhaps they stole from their countries so that they could shop because I'm told that's what women like to do. And for good measure, Bengalis eat fish. Thank you and welcome to the year 2009 everyone, it's gonna be a good one.