Monday, March 31, 2008

Magical Elixir Found to Cure Violence.

Kashmir, once a breeding ground for extremism has found itself in relative peace with violence steadily decreasing. Why, you ask? Well according to the BBC as violence decreases the amount of liquor stores and demand for alcohol increases which can only mean that alcohol is ridding the world of terrorism!

There has been a sharp fall in violence in Indian-administered Kashmir and at the same time the consumption of alcohol has started picking up fast.

Between April 2007 and February 2008, more than 1.2 million bottles of IMFL (Indian-made foreign liquor) and beer were sold in the Valley.

But as always there are people against freedom and peace:

When the first outlet opened, activists of a militant women's group, Dukhtaran-e-Millat (Daughters of Faith) ransacked it and local residents pledged support to their campaign.

As always the vagi-thugs want to ruin everyone's good times, luckily we still have people willing to uphold security for the sake of Kashmir:

"It takes immense courage to run a liquor shop," one Muslim worker at the shop tells me.

History backs up my assertions too, every nation with alcohol has become a productive and prosperous nation; Ireland....well ok not the dirty Irish, have to be a drunk capitalist to succeed apparently (Godless heathens), trailer parks..... meth addictions will not cure anything but a lack of herpes from Brett Michaels. I got it! Indian Reservations, the Iroquois nation has a high rate of alcoholism and casinos.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

This Is Soo Totally Easier Than The Naturalization Test We Had To Take

There are a couple reasons why we've chosen this to be our first official link of this little endeavor. Namely:

1. Really if there's one reason why we got into blogging it was so we could help our brethren with useful tips about the complicated INS process. Well that and the fact that bloggers are known to roll ghutna-deep in poon. Anyway, from H1Bs to HIVs, we want to be your one source for all naturalization and immunization needs.

2. It deals with a Guyanese gentleman, which is a topic we want to deal with from the onset. Are they or aren't they one of us? We vote yay, if only because we think it brings us closer to Rihanna. We're not good at Geography.

3. It's totally effin hot. You can't look at the picture Mr. Baichu and not feel the pangs of sensuality reverberate through your paapi jism. We're willing to bet the inside of that Red Lexus smells like a concoction of Shaan Bombay Biryani Masala and Imposter Armani. Or as the French call it, Le Scent of Desire.

Like we said, we would have loved this option when were taking our Naturalization test. Do you realize how many Amendments there are to the Constitution that aren't the 5th Amendment? A fuckload, that's how many.

An Agent, a Green Card, and a Demand for Sex (NY Times)

Monday, March 24, 2008

First Post