Thursday, October 22, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Labels: Youtube Stuff
Props to Ainy for the link, Respec!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
"This is Love story plus Viva La Vida with piano cello and percussion. I enjoy it because I'm a giant faggot who legitimately enjoys Taylor Swift's music & you know I'm serious because she's not even hot." - Fahad Masood.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Hector Reynosa, defender for the Mexican soccer league's Chivas Chupacabras was suspended indefinitely for an "inappropriate celebration" which involved him pretending to cough and spit in his Argentinian opponent's face, a reference to the swine flu pandemic for which Mexico City (more like Mexico Shitty!!!) is ground zero. I want to take this moment to applaud Senor Reynosa for his wit and creativity but could you imagine if a Mexican spit and coughed on you?!?! I mean even before this H1N1 visa business it would've been a little disconcerting but afterwards it's downright terrifying. I'm pretty sure being trapped in a room with a Mexican with the sniffles is something that belongs in the Saw series.
Monday, May 4, 2009
CNN Sheds Light on Pakistan's Red Light District / Claims the Lives of A Thousand Innocent Erections
CNN.com did a piece on Pakistan's Heera Mundi recently that focuses on Artist Iqbal Hussain, whose paintings featured sex workers. It is a fascinating, short piece that you should read but won't so I am embedding the video here. Hussain's point of view is an interesting one as he grew up in the shadows of the Heera Mandi (his mother was a prostitute who died last month at 98, so I guess she showed chlamydia what's what).
It does however ruin any Madhuri in Devdas fantasies you pervs may have had. It seems it's not all item numbers in designer corsets but more like venereal diseases and lots of empty meaningless interactions. I think Saroj Khan and Sanjay Leela Bansali owe us all an apology as well as a refund for the one way ticket to Lahore in the middle of peak season one may or may not have purchased after watching the Ishq Kameena video on youtube last week. Uncle Amresh Puri sat through approximately 1700 Mujrah scenes in his career but never did we hear the phrase "hot, sweaty rat-infested rooms". This is disappointing. Dammit desi prostitutes, why do you insist on not fitting in my box of uninformed delusions.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Labels: Fly Hunnies
The dance moves are nice though. I like the "bend over real fast to throw hair in your face then spin" move, it's actually what made Raheel fall for me....um....this is why we don't blog anymore!
Oh and a confused thank you to Ainy for the link...why?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Labels: BihariShabab TV
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
So I guess we should explain ourselves for our lack of posts the past 2-3 months. Honestly it just boils down to us being busy. Creatively Raheel and I are trying to find who we are. Raheel hasn't posted in such a long time because he's been chosen to be a part of the reality show "Dance India, Dance" (above) and I have to say he's really got a gift, he's so nimble! I've been busy with my burgeoning athletic career as pointguard for Team Slumdog. Raheel and I have also been experimenting with our music and I think we're really close to our big break, I think 2009 is going to be a big year for "MadherChore and the MilfHunters". We're a pretty eclectic group, kind of like OutKast meets The Monkees meets Pussycat Dolls (I'm Nicole) meets Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan meets Bombay Vikings. But none of that excuses the fact that we've neglected all 19 of you who read this fine blog. We'll try our gosh darndest to do a better job of giving you whatever it is this site gives you. Seriously, we will try to post regularly and often. We'll also try to hone our skills and give you a better site to visit when you don't feel like doing something productive. Seriously, mazak ki elawa, we're going to try to do better.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
So, this is our first post in a month or so and while I'd love to provide you with more cuddly animal videos (wasn't that porcupine the cutest!) I can't, because Pakistan is worse than ever which is hard to believe because Pakistan has been pretty terrible some times. If you haven't heard some dudes opened fire on the Sri Lankan cricket team marking the end of any international cricket match held within Pakistan forever. So that's fun because cricket sucks. According to the BBC, at least 5 police men were killed and several Sri Lankan cricket players were wounded. Sanath Jayasuriya, the Sri Lankan captain, said that all of his players were doing well but were in a state of shock. In related news, I'm watching "Billu Barber" and Shahrukh Khan just took out a light saber. As more stuff happens we'll keep you posted but probably not because we don't update regularly so the next time we meet will probably be after all of this blows over and more depressing stuff happens in Pakistan because Pakistan wants to be the new Afghanistan because Afghanistan was so nineties.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Has anyone read the "Bushisms" wikipedia entry? It's funnier than LOLcatz, or Chuck Norris Facts, or Midget Por..umm...or Dane Cook. It's a comedic gold mine, also interesting to not is that he hasn't had that many slip ups, I mean for a president I guess it's not that bad but how many of us have slipped up from time to time and said something embarrassing? Anyways, I'm gonna list them out for you here and you'll laugh and comment and pass it on to your friends because this is a mutual relationship and I need your approval because I've no self esteem. Carry on!
- "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
- "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
- "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
- "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
- "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
- "This thaw—took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw."—Alexandria, La., Oct. 20, 2008
- "Before I arrived in President, During I arrived in President" December 1,2008
- "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." --Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004
- "I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." --White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
- "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." 5/5/2000
- "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
- "For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times." --Tokyo, 18 February, 2002
- "And they have no disregard for human life."—Describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008
- "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." --Washington DC, 11 May, 2001
- "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself." --Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003
- "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." --Washington DC, 17 September, 2004
- "The best way to defeat this enemy in the long run is to deny them the recruiting tools, that are and-and recruiterments made possible by resentment." --November 2007
- "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000
- "I understand small business growth. I was one." New York Daily News, February 19, 2000
- "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
- "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." --George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007
- "Reading is the basics for all learning." --Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000
- "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." --Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
This video is of George Bush dancing with an African band in the Rose Garden in 2007. It's really uncomfortable and I think at the 22 second mark you can see Laura Bush wonder why she married this man. Similarly at the 22 month mark of his second term I think America asked itself why it elected this guy. Again, and really if he was elected twice was his first term really that terrible? My biggest concern with this clip has to do with the stare Bush gives the drummer as he drums. Is he serving him? (more importantly is that Meagan Goode? Do I have to watch this movie?)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
We've decided to extend our coverage of the Golden Globes because the world has gone Slumdog crazy...and because I needed an excuse to post this clip.
It's AR Rahman, easily the most talented individual in the Indian film industry for the last 20 years, receiving his award on Sunday. A couple of reasons why this clip is so fantastic.
The announcer messes up his name, "AR ROOHmen"...boo. Then hottie Kate Beckinsale says it correctly when she announces the winner, probably because she's an angel but maybe because she can read. Sadly she is uncorrectly corrected later on by David Duchovney who again pronounces it "Roohman." He then downloads porn on his iPhone, because you know he's a sex addict and has an insatiable appetite or so I'm told how it works with those things..... Moving on!
When coming up to the podium, sweet, innocent and adorable AR is conflicted with a dilemma many sweet, innocent, adorable desi men have encountered in the past:
"Should I hug and kiss this white woman?"
AR successfully goes in for a kiss and it looks like he ponders a hug, only to think twice about it undoubtedly because he's worried about what Yeh Log Kya Kahenge and puts his hand down. It's a split second, but if you rewind and watch it back again and again, I think it could make for a hilarious gif. Also if you press pause at he right time, it looks like he's doing something wildly inappropriate with his hand...giggles.
Finally, after AR crosses the treacherous Beckinsale Pass he comes face to face with Sean, P Diddy, Combs. Drawing on the lessons he's just learned from his encounter with the actress, AR decides to eff it and goes for the whole kit n kaboodle. Not only completing a successful multi-step handshake with the rap empresario, and part time douche, but also forcing himself on to him for a hug. What a moment! Jaya hooooo...Jayaa hooooo indeed my friend.
Join us next time as we discuss other life changing events at the Golden Globes i.e:
- Hey how about we keep all sharp objects away from Anil Kapoor in the future. He may hurt himself.
- Do you think Freida Pinto is into chubby bloggers?
- Can we all agree Slumdog is not a Bollywood production. Slumdog is to Bollywood what Valkyrie is to the German film industry (whatever it's called..Mollywood? Berlywood? Das Hollywood?)
- And finally, seriously guys, what about like chubby but with a sense of humor? Freida I want to be the Athos to your Porthos...the Heer to your Ranja...the Ram(brand bread) to your Makhan..
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Golden Globes were on TV on Sunday and no one watched (seriously) but my sister told me Shahrukh Khan was on it and your favorite movie of the year, the brilliant "Slumdog Millionaire," won a crap load of awards including best picture and best soundtrack. Both were deserved because the soundtrack is brilliant, this is my ringtone and I'm the most popular kid in school. Shahrukh Khan was presenting Slumdog Millionaire with your other bhabi, Frieda Pinto, and given the amount of contempt I have for him I think it means something when I say he did a pretty decent job (minus his fruity tie, I think he should've worn something like this. Video Below). Even Anil Kapoor made the trip to the Golden Globes and while some of you may blast him for not shaving at such a prestigious event I'm going to defend him with the argument that shaving takes a lot of time and it's gonna grow back anyways and you're jealous that you're not man enough to grow such a sweet 'stache (or such copious amounts of body hair). In all Slumdog Millionaire won; Best Drama, Best Director (Danny Boyle), Best Screenplay (Simon Beaufoy), and Best Original Score (AR Rahman, who might be an Indian hobbit). I've been told by my brain that if you win a Golden Globe then you're a shoe in for the Oscar and since that, for some odd reason, is the award everyone wants to win and not a Nickelodean Award as I had thought when I was 8, so fans of the movie should be excited. I know I am.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Labels: Brown People In Government
CNN is reporting that it's very own special correspondent, Sanjay Gupta, is being considered for the post of Surgeon General by Barack Obama and his cabinet. Sanjay Gupta's experience both in government, as an advisor to Hilary Clinton in 1997, and medicine, where he is on the staff and faculty in the Department of Neurosurgery at Emory University. When not at Emory, Sanjay Gupta works for CNN where he is responsible for keeping Larry King alive. Sanjay Gupta, who no doubt deserves a Getting To Know feature, was born in Michigan and has an interest in complicated spinal operations, he was also voted one of the sexiest men in 2003 by People Magazine (2003 was an off year for sexy men, I hadn't blossomed until 2005). These facts lead this blogger to believe that Sanjay Gupta is the brown Jack Shepard, and yes, I am going to make you google Jack Shepard, Lord knows I'd like to.....Ummm, I'm gonna leave now.