Jezebelle Guarantees Olympic Medal

Sania on the right, totally inappropriate.

Sania Mirza, India's number one ranked female tennis player, has guaranteed an Olympic medal for India this year in Beijing. The Indian Olympic team has a history of failure in the games with a total of 17 medals, 11 of which were for field hockey. The harlot Sania Mirza will have to overcome a deep pool of talent in women's tennis and since she couldn't get out of the first round at Wimbledon or any other tournament this year I'm going to assume that she'll do the same at the Olympics. Really the story here is that it is this difficult to find maybe 20 great athletes out of a billion people. You would think that there would be one fast Indian left in India, I wonder if anyone checked the martial races. The Indian Olympic committee has been spitting paan in the face of probability for nearly 100 years now. Bravo.

Little known fact; Aamir Khan used HGH to win the race.

FREE TIBET!

Aamir Khan is carrying the Olympic Torch for India in a move that angers supporters of Tibetan freedom. I for one, think that he's making the right decision. Tibet will never be free, for one thing they're Buddhists and according to my eighth grade social studies teacher Buddhists are non-violent. Also the Chinese government doesn't seem to care about what people think, I believe they ordered a tank to run over a man on international television and not a damn thing changed in China. I mean, don't get me wrong, Aamir Khan is a great actor, I cry like a bitch every time i watch Dil Chahta Hain (Its about guy love!) but I don't think he has the power to free Tibet by not carrying the Olympic Torch. Aamir Khan shouldn't worry about critics either, the Olympics will be over in a few months and then the world will forget about Tibet and we won't have to protest anything until the FIFA World Cup in South Africa. Damn apartheid.....