That'd Buy Lots of Samosas

Everyone is feeling the pressure due to the global economic recession we're currently experiencing. No one is losing more in this recession than India's ultra-wealthy business tycoons. Specifically Mukesh Ambani and Father of The Year candidate, Laxmi Mittal. Together they are 1 and 2 on the list of India's richest individuals. Ambani, who made his fortune in petrochemicals, saw his net worth drop by almost 60% and Mittal lost a staggering $30.5 billion. To better understand exactly how much that really is, let me restate it; Laxmi Mittal lost $30,500,000,000. That would buy 30.5 billion Arizona Mucho Mangos (which, coincidentally, the Tata company might purchase). This is especially terrible for their families. Laxmi's kids can't expect ridiculous gifts like multi-million dollar homes and the Ambani family is going to have to hold off on their new home construction for a little bit. You know what would make everyone feel a little better about going broke? This video;

Hilarious.

Lakshmi Mittal; Father of The Year?

"I just purchased a white man, EEEEE!"

Lakshmi Mittal, the World's fourth richest man as determined by Forbes, just purchased his third home on Britain's "Billionaire Row" in Kensington Palace Gardens which is not an amusement park as I had assumed. The combined value of all three houses is estimated to be nearly £440 million (equivalent to 7,971,328,028,762,267,648.00 Zimbabwean Dollars) which is a ripoff since none of the houses have even one rollercoaster. Mittal-ji bought the latest house for his daughter, Vanisha, for £70 million because she received "full marks" on her maths (not true but I'd like to believe it is). This comes just months after he bought his son Aditya a £117 million mansion on the same street. Mittal's first house, dubbed the "Taj Mittal" (CLEVER!), on Billionaire Row is the most expensive private property in the world (at least until Mukesh Ambani's fortress of doom is completed) valued at £250 million. What does £250 million buy you? well lets see here; 55,000 sqft, 13 bedrooms, a Turkish bath (it's slightly more secular than the stand up shower), a bejeweled swimming pool, and an oak paneled gallery. Considering that there is no helipad I'm going to have to say that Mr. Mittal overpaid, oh what's that? He bought it for £57 million and the property valued jumped to £250 million?. Of course it did. Anyways, Mittal decided that because his children behaved well they were allowed to get houses. While his son's house is more expensive, his daughter's is the former Philippine Embassy and comes complete with the Philippine-American dance troupe, Kaba Modern. Honestly I want so much to hate on Lakshmi Mittal's purchasing habits but I can't. He didn't buy the houses for the hell of it, he bought them because his kids would stay near him and since he's worth £25 billion, £440 million is not gonna be that big of a deal to him. What I'm trying to say is, Mittal sahib, I think you're the best industrialist India has ever produced and I respect how you treat your family. Adopt me.