That'd Buy Lots of Samosas

Everyone is feeling the pressure due to the global economic recession we're currently experiencing. No one is losing more in this recession than India's ultra-wealthy business tycoons. Specifically Mukesh Ambani and Father of The Year candidate, Laxmi Mittal. Together they are 1 and 2 on the list of India's richest individuals. Ambani, who made his fortune in petrochemicals, saw his net worth drop by almost 60% and Mittal lost a staggering $30.5 billion. To better understand exactly how much that really is, let me restate it; Laxmi Mittal lost $30,500,000,000. That would buy 30.5 billion Arizona Mucho Mangos (which, coincidentally, the Tata company might purchase). This is especially terrible for their families. Laxmi's kids can't expect ridiculous gifts like multi-million dollar homes and the Ambani family is going to have to hold off on their new home construction for a little bit. You know what would make everyone feel a little better about going broke? This video;

Hilarious.

Cribs: Mukesh Ambani Edition

You may ask yourself why we keep posting about Mukesh Ambani. It's really pretty simple. I imagine one fateful night a drunken Mukesh will stumble into his chair and ask himself if all the money was worth it, whether he really made a difference in the world. He will then proceed to Google himself (not a euphemism), at which point this majestic website will pop up. Mukesh, moved by our respect, admiration and loyalty to all things Reliance, will have no choice but to show his gratitude by directing some of that sweet industrialist cash our way. Or better yet, he'll adopt us as the nakammah sons he never had. That's right, I want Mukesh Ambani to adopt me, I'm putting it out there, I don't care what anyone says. Sure, severing ties with the parents who've given me so much will be tough, but I'll call anyone Daddy for a nominal fee.....that came out wrong. Anyway on to the story!

The half dismantled Jenga tower you see in the picture is no Jenga tower at all. It is in fact the palatial estate of Mukesh Ambani currently under construction in Mumbai. The mansion, named Antilia after a phantom Island off the coast of Spain, is due to be completed in September of 2008 at the tune of a $2 Billion easily making it the most expensive residence in the world.

"According to the plan, the house will rise to a height of 173.12 meters, equivalent to that of a regular 60-storeyed residential building. However, Antilia will have only 27 storeys in all, which means each floor will have a ceiling considerably higher than the current average of nearly three meters."

Among it's many features:

• 170m tall (558 ft)
• Space for 168 “imported” cars, divided across six floors
• An entire floor for “car maintenance,” with an “in-house service centre”
• An “entertainment floor”
• Terraces, balconies, and roof gardens
• A “health” floor, including “the latest gym equipment” and a pool
• Three helipads
• Two basement levels

From personal experience, I cannot stress just how important the 3 helipad thing is. I'm sure we've all endured the tension and general annoyance of waiting till our older brother gets his helicopter off the pad before we can land ours. Frankly between the polo matches, the high society parties and watching my oil stocks blossom, waiting for the helipad is such a total waste of time.

Remember that ridiculous scene in K3G when Amitabh pops out of the helicopter and says something like "Nice machine, gotta get some more of these things"? Remember how much you wanted to punch him in the face for that? Well this is like that times about $48Billion. Ugh, I'm depressed. I'm gonna go now and try to figure out how a Google bomb works.

Special thanks to Nauman Hamirani for the story.

Mukesh Ambani's Mansion In The Sky (Mumbai Mirror)
Skyscraper for a Home (JoeHallock.com)
Google Bomb (Wikipedia)