Ok Now This Is Getting Ridiculous

That's frightening.

A few days ago I shared Ram Singh's heartwarming story with you and you responded with a resounding "whatever." Well I share with you another story, a more....sinister story, from the eastern parts of India, this time it's West Bengal (not to be confused with West East Pakistan). Fatik Halder was fishing in the Sunderbans mangrove forest when he was attacked by a tiger. Yes a tiger. What ensued was a 20 minute battle during which Fatik was repeatedly clawed and bitten on his chest. Due to the slippery conditions in the forest the tiger wasn't able to wrestle Mr. Halder to the ground where it would surely have killed him. No, Fatik was able to escape the tiger's powerful jaws due to the memory of his father's death at the paws of a tiger. Yes, Fatik Halder's father was killed by a tiger twenty years before setting off a Hatfield vs. McCoy type vendetta that would impact several generations of tigers and peoples. Fatik, inspired by the thought of his wife and two children and spurred on by his desire to avenge the death of his father, was able to fend off the tiger and stagger back to his village. Unfortunately he lived in the middle of no where and had to travel ten hours to Calcutta to get medical help. He's alright now, no word on the tiger. However, just the day before Halder was attacked, Narayan Das received the Roy Horn, of Siegfried and Roy, treatment when a tiger clamped down on his neck, the men with Das fought off the tiger with kitchen utensils and sticks but Narayan Das perished before he could make it back to the hospital.
......Remember that Jungle movie with Govinda?...yeah that was cool.

This is effing terrifying...

Man vs. Wild

The man in this case is Bear Grylls, former special forces soldier, current Discovery Channel TV star, occasional fraud, and all around badass. The wild in this case is my untamed heart and the man has knocked out the wild (clumsiest sentence ever written). The new season of Man vs. Wild started this weekend and Bear Grylls proved that he's the greatest man alive by diving into the heart of Africa and eating a bunch of foul shit. In this episode he eats the meat off of a recently killed deer and a bunch of other....er...foul shit? hmm....I really thought this post would turn out better, I suppose I can't verbalize why my heart tadaps for Mr Grylls (although his show should really assist me in my travels to the motherland this summer, I'm going into one of the biggest cities in the world with only a production crew and a flint!) and since my words won't suffice behold Bear Grylls in action.

That clip right there shows why Bear Grylls deserves the kickass name that he has. He eats some foul shit, He cleans out a dead camel, then he crawls inside of it. Notice that he still talks as he sits inside of his camel carcass. I don't care if the production crew did put a dead camel in his path he still cut it open cleaned it out and laid down inside of it. Bear Grylls is such an inspiration to me that I've decided to trade in my race car bed for a goat carcass, now I'm a real man.