Dhoom Dhaam Se

We can do that but on a slightly smaller scale.

We at BihariShabab are committed on providing you with all of your needs. Be it cricket scores, entertainment news, or for some reason the need to see SRK's butt we have you covered. A more pressing issue for many of you out there is the need to get married, well we helped you find your brides (I invoke the right of primae noctis!) and now we're going to help you plan your dream wedding. You see, the children of rich South Asian immigrants are now in their 20's and 30's and it's time for them to settle down and start a family. But how are South Asian's to be married? The bride in a white gown and the groom in a limo? I scoff at the notion! I have never seen a Bollywood movie with white gowns and limos. No, you like many other South Asian men have no doubt envisioned a shaadi in which you ride in on an elephant with a marching band behind you and plenty of eunichs singing and dancing suggestively for you. Well hold onto your pagris because American companies have made it possible to make Kajol's planned shaadi to Salman Khan in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain a reality for you, right down to the weeping bride because she doesn't love you. So start saving for your wedding, elephants aren't cheap.

In related news, we at BihariShabab have decided that as young strapping Biharis we are more qualified to plan weddings than your average gori, therefore we are starting a wedding planning service, please send us requests in the comments section. We specialize in planning weddings at bowling alleys and regular alleys. Book us now, we're the hottest wedding planners in the blogosphere!

"This Is Chitting, You Are a Chitter"

Oh Johnny Bhai, how prophetic your words were.

This may be hard to believe, but this Diwali will mark the 10th anniversary of the release of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I hope you feel as old reading that last sentence as I do typing it. Anyway, of the many lessons I learned from the film (i.e. internal bleeding while fatal, it will not rob you of the ability to hand write 7 lengthy letters to your child etc.), the one that made the greatest impression on me was the Johnny Lever's legendary screed against the virtues of females. Oh sure, I spent the last 10 years fooling myself, learning to trust women, believing they weren't just an untrustworthy species encased in hot hot bodies. I believed that all until today....

"Like an increasing number of other Muslim women in Europe, she had a "hymenoplasty," a restoration of her hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.
....
That trend in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night."

Now a lot of people have accused me in the past of being a chauvinist because I think that women should stay home, work out 2 hours a day, make food and plop out and take care of my children. I would prefer to think of myself as a traditionalist, but that's neither here nor there. Either way, I'm sure you understand that this news has shaken the core of my beliefs. I don't know if there's anyway to come back from this. I'm going to go now and take my revenge on the fairer sex by standing up and taking a piss on my walls and then wiping it up with an authentic replica of Title IX, because if there's another thing I learned from Kuch Kuch it's that girls cannot play bas-ket-ball, larkiyan basketbal nahi khel sakti. You see what I did there? That's called a "call back", I just completed this post's circle of life...

For Muslim Women in Europe, A Medical Road Back to Virginity(IHT)