Lawyer Girls Wanted!!!!!!

Hey ladies. Are you looking for a suave happening brown guy that will sweep you off your feet? well look no further. I present to you; Mr Vijay Kumar Singh. Mr Singh is a Bihari politician who wants "a beautiful wife with a qualification in business management, law or journalism" and, one can only assume, "no fat chicks." In addition to being a corrupt politician Mr Singh is a part time model and has modeled in fashion shows in Patna! And for you adrenaline junkies out there, you and Vijay can duck bullets together as Maoists try to overthrow your husband's government! Oh but that's not all. Vijay Kumar Singh is more than just a pretty face, he's a hopeless romantic too!

"An MBA girl will help me in my business; a lawyer girl will help us fight false court cases against us and if the girl is a journalist she will help me deal with the media."

-Vijay Kumar Singh

Oh Vijay, you devilish MP you! So ladies, don't miss out on your opportunity to be courted by one of Bihar's most eligible bachelors, call 09973103898 now, or send your biodata, complete with some Bollywood style photos, to Supriya1237@rediffmail.com!

Your Daily IPL Update

In an attempt to bridge the gap with our desi fathers so that we may one day convince him to allow us to marry a Gori*, we here at BihariShabab have decided to throw ourselves in to the exciting new 20/20 Cricket Indian Premier League. In the coming weeks we will be looking at all the teams and recapping all of the games from here on out. This space will be updated daily with scores, stats, standings, commentary and updates on our burgeoning relationship with our fathers that will soon be the inspiration for a major motion picture by Sanjay Leela Bansali. On to the games....
Sunday, May 4th:

Mumbai Defeats Delhi by 29 Runs:
Proving once again that they are perhaps the "Indianest" of all the Indian teams in the Indian Premier League, the Mumbai Indians defeated the Daredevils of Delhi by 29 runs. In a display of his Indian mardaangi that would make the Sunni Deol proud, Ashish Nehra collected 3 wickets for 25 runs for the Indians, singularly beat down the forces of terrorism by the power of his sheer patriotism and cunning, and found the time for a romantic subplot with Shilpa Shetty. Verinder Sehwag had 40 runs in the losing effort.


Sohail To The Chief:
Rajistan Royal bowler Sohail Tanvir got his Lebron James on all up on the Chennai Super Kings in the most one-sided battle between monarchs since Henry VIII took on the head of Anne Boleyn. Tanvir had 6 wickets for 14 runs in 4 overs while also being on the receiving end of 2 Munaf Patel wickets as Rajistan defeated Chennai by 8 wickets. The 6 wicket take is a record for an IPL game and has replaced Zaara Hayaat Khan's bewitchment of Officer Veer Pratap Singh as the most impressive performance by a Pakistani national on Indian soil.

Monday's Games:
Bangalore Royal Challengers @ Punjab Kings XI

Standings:

Teams	Played	Won	Lost	Points	Net Run Rate
	6	5	1	10	+0.734
	6	4	2	8	+0.857
	6	4	2	8	+0.385
	6	4	2	8	+0.241
	6	2	4	4	+0.123
	6	2	4	4	-0.382
	6	2	4	4	-1.207
	6	1	5	2	-0.100

*The term Gori is not limited to women of Caucasian heritage but is a general term that encompasses any non-desi entity including African American, Latina, Asian or Pacific Islander, Eastern European, and whatever the amalgamation of Nationalities that Lana Lang from Smallville is.

BC of The Week! (presented by Gogo Pan Masala); Mike Myers

Disclaimer: I've been running on Desi Standard Time and all of a sudden the weekend was upon me and I didn't feel like posting. Mike Myers is the BC of the week for the first week of May. While his reign will be shorter he is still as much of a BC as Andrei Kirilenko.

Now you may be questioning my decision to make Mike Myers The BihariShabab "BC of The Week" because he hasn't really done anything newsworthy in quite a while. Well, you obviously weren't with me on Friday night when i went to watch Ironman (solid movie by the way). There were some great trailers before the fillum started including the new Batman movie; The Dark Knight (looks ridiculously good, like a mixture of V for Vendetta and Training Day, doesn't make sense but I would have this movie's child), Hancock (I'm a sucker for the fresh prince), Even The Hulk looks decent. But there was one trailer that looted my sense of decency's izzat and that trailer was Mike Myers' "The Love Guru."

you saw the trailer, you can see why he's the BC of the week. But just in case you decided to skip the trailer (not a bad idea) I'll explain why Mike Myers is the BC of the week. First, Mike Myers seems to be playing a goofy version of Jimi Mistry's character in "The Guru," A movie I didn't really enjoy because it was crap. Ripoff of crappy movie = crappy movie, I know this because I learned it in differential equations. Also I like Romany Malco, Love me some Meagan Goode and pre-knocked up Jessica Alba, even Timberlake is tolerable. But then Myers shows up, makes a stupid joke (he made like 4 midget jokes in one 2 minute trailer), and I want to gouge out my eyeballs. If I'm willing to blind myself and forgo any more scenes involving meagan goode because of you, then you know you're a BC.

You know what? fuck it. I don't need to explain myself to you (keep up this attitude and you'll be BC of the week). Mike Myers sucks, I haven't watched any Austin Powers movies and I haven't enjoyed any thing he's been in with the exception of a few SNL sketches. He's overrated and even if "The Love Guru" wasn't borderline racist he'd still be my BC of the week because I had to think about him for a few minutes in the day. Matter of fact he ruined today because I had to think about him again while writing this post. Congratulations Mike Myers, you suck, you're The BihariShabab "BC of The Week!"

The Best Thing You Will See All Week

The clip below is from Britain's Got Talent, the show that America's Got Talent is based on but which I will refer to as "the ripoff of America's Got Talent" because of my deeply rooted hatred for the English. They killed William Wallace!

Anyway, please watch the entire thing. I've watched it about 7 times and get goosebumps with each viewing. It's for an act called Signature and it's like that Kashif Memon guy only it's not, you know, cringe inducing and a thinly veiled attempt to take advantage of a dopey Pakistani caricature for web hits.

Anyway, here you go...



They really are quiet terrific.

Award Winning Beastiality!

Ok, award winning photography is one thing but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Nature and Humans have always come into contact: flicking the nasty mosquito sucking your blood, peeing in the bushes when you can't find a rest area, a bird pooping on your windshield, getting chased by a squirrel or two, accidentally stepping on an earthworm's head (or was that the butt?) after it has rained... aiight, you get the point. And maybe I'm just being zaleel about this, but seriously now, this connect between humans and nature needs to be taken inside the abode! Or better yet, not be happening at all. I wouldn't want to be sharing my mama's milk with Bambi! Would you? Unparalleled my arse!!

I can't even fathom as to what her kid will grow up thinking. But I'm pretty damn sure none of the animals nor Bambi's kids in the village will be malnutritioned or starved to death! Maybe they'll all be wearing orange dresses too.