House Cleaning Item

Muhammad Ali Jinha and Gandhi at a Delta Chi Frat party circa 1946. Not Pictured: Nehru Playing Beer Pong with Alama Iqbal

Since this is the week we're officially selling out, why not go all the way. Hey everybody, Eighty East performs tonight in Newark! In the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that I have a personal history with Eighty East. Once about 4 years ago, Sid the drummer and I shared a candlelit dinner on the banks of the Passaic River. It was a beautiful moment and I will not ruin it by going into details, but I feel I must be forthcoming to maintain our journalistic integrity.

Anyway, the band is performing as part of the Rutgers PSA / ISA Unity event tonight in Newark. Details below:

When: November 20th @ 7pm
Where: Multi-Purpose Room in Paul Robeson Campus Center
350 MLK Blvd.
Newark, NJ

Along with Eighty East, you can look forward to performances by some dance crews I'm sure and like three or four comedy skits highlighting the hilarious fish out of water experiences we Desis run into every day here in the states! In all seriousness, there will be a performance by the very talented Feroz, whose hippitty hoppitty skills you can check out here.

I believe there is a $5 entrance fee, but it's for charity so please lighten up. Not sure what charity it will go to, but I'm guessing it's going to Israel. Those guys end up getting all of our money anyway. KIDDING! See I'm kidding because the event is about unity and being all racist...get it?..Hahaha...no seriously Jews run the world.

See you there!

Condemnation!

Huey doesn't appreciate the Obama haters.

Editors Note: I wrote this yesterday so everytime I say today, just substitute it with yesterday in your mind. Good luck and I apologize in advance.

We at BihariShabab haven't done enough to condemn terrorism world wide. The targeting of innocent people cannot be justified in anyway. Today our own beloved President, Barack Obama, was at the center of a verbal assault by the dastardly Ayman Al-Zawahiri, the 2nd most senior Al-Qaeda leader. Zawahiri said that the election of Barack Obama would not change anything that the terrorist organization is doing and that America would remain the enemy of Al-Qaeda. He went as so far as to say that Barack Obama was a "house slave" and "not an honourable black man like Malcolm X." Ayman, If you knew anything about Malcolm X you would know that he would never support what you are doing since it is even worse than what the American government did to black people through out history, by a lot. In response to your claim that Obama is a "House Slave" you better pump your brakes doggie, that man's a national treasure. On the bright side for those of us who aren't terrorists and condemn it, analysts say it might be harder for terrorists to cultivate support in their anti-American ideology because Barack Obama is loved world wide (as reported by BihariShabab) and they are even losing support within their own territories, evidenced particularly by the success of the Awakening Council in Iraq. Now obviously Barack hasn't done a damn thing so international support for him could fade dramatically but let's hope it doesn't because it's Barack Obama and everyone wants him to do well.

Well folks, that concludes another shitty post, please help us out by emailing links to BihariShabab@Gmail.com and leaving comments. Together we can overcome this slump. I can't wait till the IPL and Miss Universe pageant.

That'd Buy Lots of Samosas

Everyone is feeling the pressure due to the global economic recession we're currently experiencing. No one is losing more in this recession than India's ultra-wealthy business tycoons. Specifically Mukesh Ambani and Father of The Year candidate, Laxmi Mittal. Together they are 1 and 2 on the list of India's richest individuals. Ambani, who made his fortune in petrochemicals, saw his net worth drop by almost 60% and Mittal lost a staggering $30.5 billion. To better understand exactly how much that really is, let me restate it; Laxmi Mittal lost $30,500,000,000. That would buy 30.5 billion Arizona Mucho Mangos (which, coincidentally, the Tata company might purchase). This is especially terrible for their families. Laxmi's kids can't expect ridiculous gifts like multi-million dollar homes and the Ambani family is going to have to hold off on their new home construction for a little bit. You know what would make everyone feel a little better about going broke? This video;

Hilarious.

The Brown Man Feels The Heat

Neel Kashkari, the man in charge of the bailout who was profiled earlier here and at JFK airport security hahahhahahhahaa, had his ass handed to him by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, culminating in Elijah "Clay Davis" Cummings asking him if he was a "chump." Of course that question was taken out of context, in reality Cummings was telling Neel that his constituents are wondering whether or not Kashkari is a chump and getting played by AIG and other companies that are recieving money from the government. It must suck to get slapped down by Dennis Kucinich on national television. He's a small man.

Thanks to Saad and UK youtube for the link and the headline...Props where props are due.

Well That Didn't Take Long

"WHITE POWERRRR!!!!! This is awesome, that'll show them"
"Totally awesome, wohoo...wood on fire...makes my point"
"Yea..yea...so do we just kinda hangout here for a while? Should we go around the cross or do we just stand here"
"Don't know...hmm...I mean we're here already...and I mean, we've already proved how awesome we are...you know with cross on fire and everything...you...umm...you wanna jack each other off...I mean only if you want to and because there's nothing else to do...and no homo obviously"
"Well as long as we agree no homo...yeah...let's do it...but only to celebrate the power of the white man...wohooo...here we go"
"WHITE POWERRRRR!!!!!...hold me Billy Bob"
"Yes, Grand Wizard sir."
And scene!

Since the election on Tuesday, acts of racism have apparently been popping around the tri-state (NY, NJ, CT) area like the latest strain of herpes pops up on the Jersey shore. Proving once again that some residents in the tri-state area have comically tiny penises.

A cross was set on fire on the lawn of a nice pro-Obama Indian family in Hardwick, NJ, which is about 45 minutes outside of Newark. Of course it's 45 minutes outside of Newark. The chances of this happening inside Newark are somewhere between zero and "please don't hurt me big black man":

"Pieces of a homemade bed-sheet banner reading "President Obama -- Victory '08," which had been stolen from the yard the night before, also were found, leading investigators to believe the banner had been wrapped around the cross before it was set afire.
....
Police believe the cross, made of two-by-fours bolted to a metal pole like those used to support road signs, was placed on the lawn sometime between 1 a.m. and 7 a.m., and fell over after being set on fire."

You know, it's really surprising that the cross fell over. If there's one thing we know about narrow-minded racists jackasses, it's their expertise in the field of Physics. Isaac Newton's original answer to the question "Why did the Apple fall"? "So I can fling it at the Moors as Bananas don't seem to do the trick...HEYOO...HAHAHA...is this thing on? Oooh, I don't believe I've invented a mic yet." Wow, Isaac Newton was a dick.

Anyway, Gary Grewal, the awesome house owner, will not let the cowardly act phase his support for the President elect:

""I'm not going to be intimidated by something like this," Grewal said. "I don't go on anyone's property and do this. God forbid if I was African-American. We're living in the 21st century, and we've got to be afraid to express our beliefs?"

Right on Mr. Grewal. But he does bring up a good point, let's imagine what it would be like, if God forbid, he was an African-American....

Welcome to Staten Island! Or as it would be known if it were a beer, New Jersey Lite, or New York Ultra Lite. You would think people who are used to living in the toxic land dump that is Staten Island would know the pain one feels when they are discriminated against simply from whence they originate. You would be wrong:

"Ali Kamara, 17, whose family emigrated from Liberia, is still in great pain after being beaten by four young men with baseball bats.

Kamara, a high school student who is Muslim and lives in the Stapleton Section of the borough, was attacked while walking home around 10 p.m. the night of the election. He said as he approached his street, a gold car with four white men drove up behind him, with the men yelling Obama's name."

This story just keeps getting weirder and weirder. First there were the failed physicist white supremacists and now we find out that someone classy enough to drive a Gold car would attack a helpless teen 4 on 1? Shocking. Every person who drives a Gold car that I know, is too busy getting Syphilis spit in their mouth to be attacking teens.

Hopefully attacks like these will slowly fade out as we move forward. Till then, we wish you and your family a safe four years and look to Mr. Grewal's words for inspiration. Thank God we're not all African Americans.