Bihari Shabab: Your Occasional IPL Update

See? All it took was a slight change in the title of this feature and now I don't feel the pressure to constantly update. This new found freedom's kinda nice. I think I'm gonna go for that extra level of comfort and post shirtless. Oooh that's breezy. On to the games!

Saturday, May 10th

Punjab at Chennai
Chennai wins by 18 Runs
L. Balaji 5 for 24 including first hat-trick in IPL history

Chennai Super Kings fast-bowler and internationally renowned ladies man, Lakshmipathy Balaji made the girlies squeal with a sexy sexy outing. His 5 for 24 was the second best performance in this inaugural season of the IPL, best only by Sohail Tanvir's 6 for 24. Balaji's day included dismissals of Pathan, Chawla and VRV Singh in successions for the ever hat-trick in the history of the IPL. Although the loss undoubtedly hurt her feelings, Punjab co-owner somehow found the strength to remain adorable.

Sunday, May 11th

Kolkata at Hyderabad
Kolkata wins by 23 runs
S. Ganguly 91 runs off of 57 balls

Saurav Ganguly had 91 runs off of 57 balls while also collecting 2 wickets for 25 runs in an all-round performance reminiscent of Diane Lane's work in Unfaithful. For the record she managed to be regular hot, milfy hot, hot in a good actress type of way. Knight Riders co-owner Shahrukh Khan displayed his pleasure over the victory by eviscerating 4 pillows.

Delhi at Rajistan
Rajistan wins by 3 wickets
Shane Watson 74 off 40 balls

League leading Rajistan found a way to win another close game with 5 balls to spare. Man o' the match Shane Watson had 74 runs while also collecting 2 wickets for 29 runs. The Daredevils put up a good fight but the game served as a microcosm of the frustrating 4-4 season it's been for Delhi. Honestly, 4-4 is unacceptable for a team from the capital. Seriously Daredevils, where do you think this is? Dheradhun? Am I right or am I right people?

Monday, May 12th

Bangalore at Punjab
Punjab Wins!!

Umm, the IPL website for some reason isn't providing me with details about this game so I will do what any responsible recapper would do. Speculate! I'm guessing Punjab hit a six on the last ball to cap an exciting game that ended at 350-351 in Punjab's favor. Co-owner Preity Zinta was charged with larceny of my dil.

Tuesday, May 13th

Delhi at Kolkata
Kolkata wins by 23 runs
Shoaib Akhtar, 4 for 11

Making his much anticipated debut, Knight Rider fast-bowler, and notorious malfeasant Shoaib Akhtar had an impressive day collecting 4 wickets while allowing 11 runs in only 3 overs of work. Akhtar, or "Shoabby" as he is referred to by many a romantically disorientated* youths in Peshawar, managed to live up to the hype created by his sudden expulsion by the Pakistani Cricket Board. And because I've made this a bit, here are your Shah Rukh Pillow Stats for the night: 2 from the thrill of victory. 3 for the heat generated by the Rawalpindi Express.

*The term "Romantically Disorientated" is a registered trademark of Bihari Shabab and the mysterious F.M.

Wednesday's Games:
Chennai at Mumbai